Archive | 5:12 pm

Jake Gyllenhaal…

12 Sep

you’re cool and all.

But…your sister is cooler and a better actor, too.

Sorry, Jake.

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Where are you…

12 Sep

Beck, Alanis and Natalie?

We know you’re not living off royalties.

What were steampunks…

12 Sep

before steampunk??

Were they…

horseandbuggypunks?
rubtwostickstickstogetherpunks?
huntandgatherpunks?

Someone let me know, please.

Men who wear jewelry…

12 Sep

piss me off.

If you’re not a gypsy prince: TAKE IT OFF!

Monroeville is…

12 Sep

the deep South on the upper East coast.

In Monroeville:

Cargo shorts and short sleeve button down shirt= Suit and tie

Chubby hands have teeny tiny fingernails.

Newsie hat= the extent of the hipster look

Tom Savini look-a-likes are around every corner.

Shaved sideburns are the look for Fall 2009.

The fewer teeth you have, the longer your family has been here.

No hard feelings, Monroeville. Had a blast there despite the hillbillyness.