Archive | 9:47 pm

Gym memberships we never use.

20 Sep

We all do it. You can’t lie to me. Well you can, but I’m not there so than I guess you really can’t.

Anyway…

At some point in our lives we get memberships or subscribe to things that we honestly never use. My perfectly intact, good as new, dust-ridden membership card (that is sitting at the bottom of some drawer somewhere in space) is for a gym.

About a year ago I passed by a gym with a great deal and since I had just left my old expensive gym I decided to transfer to a new cheap gym, that I would also never really go to.

I did this and have gone about 20 times…IN A YEAR.

I’m not grotesquely overweight. But a few trips a week would do no harm. Why don’t I go? Well only a naturally fit person would ask that question and to them I say, “Don’t talk to me, you with the good genes.”

Us normal people want to keep our rarely used memberships and tell ourselves that we’ll go tomorrow. Because tomorrow is a new day, the day to start going to the gym.

I feel you.

You know what? After all this thinking and writing, I think I’m going to start going again. Get back on the treadmill and get into shape.

Then again…I do have errands and I wanted to watch that movie. NONONONO! I’ll go. I will. I swear. Well…maybe. If I wake up on time. (Note to self: Don’t set alarm.)

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The Vampire Diaries–> (Show vs. Books)

20 Sep

In 1991 L. J. Smith wrote The Vampire Diaries: The Awakening. Almost 20 years later her creation hit the small screen. (She can thank Twilight and True Blood for that one.)

As an original fan of the V.D books I was eagerly awaiting the TV adaptation. Then on September 10th 2009 I was gravely disappointed. My hopes were torn into teeny tiny bits.

First off, Elena is blond. The producers probably changed her hair to brown so as to not confuse Elena with Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood. If they were scared of overlapping True Blood than they should have realized both shows revolve around a human woman, and a couple of vampires fighting for her affection and life. (Wait a minute… that sounds a hell of a lot like True Blood.) To avoid all that they could have just done the show a few years ago…when the books weren’t so outdated.

Also not only is she blond, but she is beautiful in a kind of too pretty to be naturally pretty way. But in the show she’s some short normal looking actress. Sure the actress is pretty. But, SHE’S AN ACTRESS ON A MAJOR NETWORK. SHE HAS TO BE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PRETTY. Elena is supposed to be Helen of Troy pretty. WTF?

ANYWAY…

The other thing that pisses me off is how cheezy it was. There were freaking billows of fog pouring from off camera while she was at the cemetery. She wasn’t even weirded out by the ferocious mystery fog. I would have been like…”WTF, fog? What’s going on? Why are you billowing over towards me?” Instead she looks around puzzled then runs for no real reason.

I had to stop watching shortly after. It was at that point that I realized the show was put together by idiots. L.J. should be pissed. I know I’d be if I were her. Although the huge checks the network gave me would certainly dull the pain quite a bit.

So take a look and tell me about how close the characters seem, from the book to the show:

Book Elena.
Book Elena.

Show Elena.
Show Elena.

There needs to be is an age limit…

20 Sep

for strollers.

I’ve done a tiny bit of research (googled stroller age limits for less than 30 seconds) and decided that no child should be older than 5.

Many moms online say their kids were in their strollers up until they were 7.

7?!! SEVEN YEARS OLD?! And in a STROLLER?

Look at this lazy kid. He can’t even keep food in his mouth much less get around with out Mommy or Daddy pushing his preteen butt around.

Get your lazy butt out of that stroller and walk, you chubby little snot.

Get your lazy butt out of that stroller and walk, you chubby little snot.

F.Y.I. I am terrible at guessing children’s ages. The photo could be of a 3-year-old for all I know.

Kristen Stewart is a…

20 Sep

miserable twat.

I saw her at Comic Con in San Diego this year and she looked like she would have rather been eaten by rats than be there.

Get that stick out of your ass.

Get that stick out of your ass.

She has that “I hate my success” vibe to her. Get over it, Kristen.