Archive | December, 2009

Things that last nearly forever: #1

9 Dec

Mini-Pumpkins

I bought this little guy 2 weeks before Halloween. 2 WEEKS! It’s been here for…about 7.5 weeks. Not only is it not rotten to all hell, but it’s as firm as it was when I got it. WTF?!

Awesome… but how? Was it radiated, or just genetically blessed? Perhaps it took that potion from “Death Becomes Her”?

Let’s be practical. It couldn’t have taken the potion…it’s a plant. I doubt it was radiated because it’s not that important enough to get radiated. (What does that mean you ask? I don’t know. I just said it.) Regarding genetics I don’t know enough to say it was or wasn’t so that leaves one last possible option: The truth.

It must have been INJECTED with the potion. Since it’s a plant it can’t swallow it so someone must have injected it. I’ll keep an eye on it for the next few months, and if it lasts until Halloween I will eat it and try and get some of the potion in my system. Or die of some bacterial food poisoning.

I’ll keep you updated.

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Is it me or…

9 Dec

is Beast from any film or TV adaptation of “Beauty and the Beast” fuglier as a human than as a beast?

Let’s take a look at the beasts vs. their human counterparts:

Maybe it’s just me. But these guys either turn extra beastly as men or extra girly. Poor, Beauty.

P.S. Who the hell names their kid “Beauty”??

Fin.

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Europeans: The sexes switch hairstyles.

9 Dec

Ever walk down the street in NYC or any big city where European tourist visit? Or ever just been to Europe?

Well did you notice the hair styles of the average hip European? This is not true with every European, just the hipster equivalent.

This is what you might have seen:

Or this:

My point is this:

I have noticed that it is much more common in Europe for hipster type men to have traditional women’s haircuts and hipster type women to have men’s. And considering how tall and lean some of these people are it can be confusing when you see them from behind.

A few weeks ago I noticed a couple walking ahead of me. I could tell they were French because they were speaking French. I remember thinking I liked the woman’s boots. They were brown leather with cool straps. Then when they crossed the street I realized they were his boots, not hers. Well maybe he borrowed them that day. But what I mean is that she was a he, and he was a she.

Don’t get me wrong I have no issue with how people wear their hair. I don’t give a hot damn. It’s just that I’ve noticed that Europeans seem to be the ones who switch traditional hair styles more than anyone else.

The end.

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Celebs who creepily look alike #2:

8 Dec

Jessica Harper (Shock Treatment/Boys)

and

Frances O’Connor (A.I/Bedazzled)

This instance is especially creepy because I suspect the two women are actually one woman. This Jessica/Frances woman seems to have taken the “Death Becomes Her” potion (See below):

It is my assumption that Frances will soon stop acting and wait another 10 years until she will emerge again as Agnes or Julia something. She can’t fool me!

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Celebs who creepily look alike #1:

7 Dec

Peter Dinklage (Elf/Death at a Funeral)

and

Rob McElhenney (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia):

This particular case is interesting because if you actually saw them in person, you wouldn’t confuse the two.

This is why:

See Mr. McElhenney with some fellow “Sunny” cast members:

Notice Mr. Dinklage with a  “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” costar at New York Comic Con:

I’ve hope you’ve caught the difference and don’t mistake them in public. It might make for a bad first impression on your part to confuse them.

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This is legal?

7 Dec

This is what happens when the semi-wealthy get bored…

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I think this hole…

7 Dec

leads to a magical treasure of gold or some such. My reason for thinking this is logical: There is no visible end to the hole.

Take a closer look:

Next time I pass by I’ll drop in a penny and tell you what happens. If some leprechaun/endless hole goblin tosses it back at me I’ll pour boiling water down and see how it likes THAT!

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Meet Bill Paxton’s…

6 Dec

doppelgänger:

Unfortunately I was only able to catch this blurry photo. I assure you he isn’t our beloved Bill. This dude was playing some kind of traveler on a Taxi TV advertisment.

I know I’ve got you on faith on this one, but it’s not Bill.

I’ll catch the advert again one day and get a clear photo or video.

Somebody needs to get in touch with Bill about this. We can’t let this guy take Bill’s carreer out from under him, people!

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Wanna see something weird?

6 Dec

Check out this creepolicious window decor near my apartment:

We pass this place all the time and have never noticed any noise or light from the window. I think the room might be empty or have some scaly rejected, left sided, siamese twin with a limp and fear of bright lights living inside.

That poor poor thing. Oh well. Who wants to read about Bill Paxton and his Taxi commercial doppelgänger??

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Not a sight you wanna see:

6 Dec

Yes that is an exposed wire sitting in a pool of water.

F.Y.I. This was at the Brooklyn King Con this year. Brooklyn is dangerous if you’re not wearing your rubbers. RUBBER BOOTS YOU PERV!!

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