Archive | 10:06 pm

The Cleanse: Day One

4 Jan

Welcome to getting to know me maybe a little too well!

I have been feeling a bit tired and gloomy for the last few months and decided that it might be due to my diet of ice cream, McDonald’s, candy, and assorted junk food. Luckily I have the internet and learned of the Master Cleanse. Not being a paid spokeswoman I’m not going to bullshit you that it’s the best thing ever, hell, I haven’t even really started it yet.

I AM going to try it and tell the people of Earth if it works or if it’s a bunch of lies.

The cleanse consists of 7 steps:

Step 1: One day of ONLY fresh/raw fruits and veggies. Nothing else!

Step 2: One day of ONLY fresh/raw fruit and veggie JUICES/SHAKES. Nothing else!

Step 3: One day of organic OJ and maple syrup. Yes maple syrup. But not any will do you have to the GRADE B ORGANIC kind.

Step 4: Ten to forty days of the Lemonade mix, and the Salt Water Flush. The Lemonade mix consists of 14 tbs fresh organic lemon juice, 14 tbs grade B organic maple syrup,  1/2 teasp cayenne and 2 liters of un-florided aka distilled water. This mix is ALL YOU GET (except for as much water as you want)! The Salt Water Flush is drank once every morning. That is made up of one liter of distilled water and 1 tbs of uniodized sea salt. Note: This is used to cleanse your intestines. The mix of water and sea salt will not be absorbed by your body and will actually go down the “food pipe”. Get the picture? I’m sorry but it’s part of the process.

Step 5: One to three days of organic OJ and maple syrup. Yes maple syrup. But not any will do: you have to the GRADE B ORGANIC kind.

Step 6: One to three days of ONLY fresh/raw fruit and veggie JUICES/SHAKES. Nothing else!

Step 7: One to three days of ONLY fresh/raw fruits and veggies. Nothing else! Your body need to adjust to normal food slowly, so the longer you take on steps 5-7 the better you’ll feel.

So it begins…

I am currently 158lbs. at 5’6″ (honest).

Being day one, I ate one nectarine for breakfast and a salad with half an avocado for late lunch. I was running around town and didn’t have time for a proper lunch. For late snack I had cherries and an orange. I didn’t eat much today but I will have plenty of juices tomorrow. I bought a book on cool fresh fruit and veg juices to make and I plan to make at least 5 tomorrow.

–This is diet is a HUGE change compared to my average. My past typical day’s food was: Oatmeal for breakfast, anti-pasta of cheese with sausage/pepperoni and olives for snack. Then a turkey, mayo, lettuce and cheese sandwich with chips and diet coke. I would also snack on candy throughout the day. Finally for dinner I would have a cheeseburger and fries and diet coke from McDonald’s and a diet coke or some pasta with meat sauce with the occasional chicken salad sprinkled in for variety.

I will weigh myself every morning after I shower. And keep you updated on how I feel and how things go. I might even post video of making the juices and drinks. We’ll see how it goes.

Wish me luck and if I see you eating a cheeseburger and laughing at me cleansing I will jump on you, break your skull and finish your burger.

Tootles!

Nice Girl