The Cleanse: Day One

4 Jan

Welcome to getting to know me maybe a little too well!

I have been feeling a bit tired and gloomy for the last few months and decided that it might be due to my diet of ice cream, McDonald’s, candy, and assorted junk food. Luckily I have the internet and learned of the Master Cleanse. Not being a paid spokeswoman I’m not going to bullshit you that it’s the best thing ever, hell, I haven’t even really started it yet.

I AM going to try it and tell the people of Earth if it works or if it’s a bunch of lies.

The cleanse consists of 7 steps:

Step 1: One day of ONLY fresh/raw fruits and veggies. Nothing else!

Step 2: One day of ONLY fresh/raw fruit and veggie JUICES/SHAKES. Nothing else!

Step 3: One day of organic OJ and maple syrup. Yes maple syrup. But not any will do you have to the GRADE B ORGANIC kind.

Step 4: Ten to forty days of the Lemonade mix, and the Salt Water Flush. The Lemonade mix consists of 14 tbs fresh organic lemon juice, 14 tbs grade B organic maple syrup,  1/2 teasp cayenne and 2 liters of un-florided aka distilled water. This mix is ALL YOU GET (except for as much water as you want)! The Salt Water Flush is drank once every morning. That is made up of one liter of distilled water and 1 tbs of uniodized sea salt. Note: This is used to cleanse your intestines. The mix of water and sea salt will not be absorbed by your body and will actually go down the “food pipe”. Get the picture? I’m sorry but it’s part of the process.

Step 5: One to three days of organic OJ and maple syrup. Yes maple syrup. But not any will do: you have to the GRADE B ORGANIC kind.

Step 6: One to three days of ONLY fresh/raw fruit and veggie JUICES/SHAKES. Nothing else!

Step 7: One to three days of ONLY fresh/raw fruits and veggies. Nothing else! Your body need to adjust to normal food slowly, so the longer you take on steps 5-7 the better you’ll feel.

So it begins…

I am currently 158lbs. at 5’6″ (honest).

Being day one, I ate one nectarine for breakfast and a salad with half an avocado for late lunch. I was running around town and didn’t have time for a proper lunch. For late snack I had cherries and an orange. I didn’t eat much today but I will have plenty of juices tomorrow. I bought a book on cool fresh fruit and veg juices to make and I plan to make at least 5 tomorrow.

–This is diet is a HUGE change compared to my average. My past typical day’s food was: Oatmeal for breakfast, anti-pasta of cheese with sausage/pepperoni and olives for snack. Then a turkey, mayo, lettuce and cheese sandwich with chips and diet coke. I would also snack on candy throughout the day. Finally for dinner I would have a cheeseburger and fries and diet coke from McDonald’s and a diet coke or some pasta with meat sauce with the occasional chicken salad sprinkled in for variety.

I will weigh myself every morning after I shower. And keep you updated on how I feel and how things go. I might even post video of making the juices and drinks. We’ll see how it goes.

Wish me luck and if I see you eating a cheeseburger and laughing at me cleansing I will jump on you, break your skull and finish your burger.


Nice Girl

9 Responses to “The Cleanse: Day One”

  1. Abalistar January 4, 2010 at 10:29 pm #

    That sounds fucking awful, but I wish you all the luck.

    If it works for you, maybe I should try something like that some day.

  2. E January 4, 2010 at 10:45 pm #

    fine till I get to step 4 – then it seems seriously un-healthy to me to eat nothin for 10 to 40 days

    it’s called dying of starvation

    no likey – just bein honest

  3. terry January 5, 2010 at 12:35 am #

    be careful 10 to 40 days of basically water – this plan sounds very simialer to how protesters prepare tp go on humger strikes the kind that they don’t expect to survive! just be careful!

  4. terry January 5, 2010 at 12:36 am #

    sorry I should of proof read that — horrible typos!

  5. alesha brown January 5, 2010 at 3:27 am #

    Hi Nice Girl,

    Thank you so much for all the great info on the preparation of the diet. I have everything i need but have been a little reluctant to try. Can you please email this person (from earth) and on the island of Maui, how you have done on this cleanse? I would be truly greatful. Mahalo

  6. lemonade diet January 5, 2010 at 5:43 am #

    E and Terry.. The Lemonade Diet isn’t a “starvation diet”, like many people think. You actually get all of the calories your body needs to function… just in a liquid form. If you have any questions about doing a lemonade diet check out: They have some good info about the master cleanse. 🙂

  7. YASMIN January 5, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

    I have the original “THE MASTER CLEANSE” I started but I only did the “lemonade” part gave up on second day had the WORST headache! and with 4 little boys it felt like my head was going to explode! I heard it really works! so let me know! I have the book let me know if want to borrow it.
    Good luck!

  8. onehorsefarms January 5, 2010 at 2:58 pm #

    I love this fast. I had great results on it using it as a detox instead of a weight loss program and am so happy I did!

  9. deb January 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm #

    Good luck and be careful.

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