The Cleanse: Day Four

7 Jan

SALT WATER FLUSH= EVIL UNNECESSARY PUNISHMENT

I made it this morning as directed: 1 liter of water and 1-2 tsps of uniodized sea salt.

Mixed it in my 1 liter jug and took a swig. WTF!!!!!!?? I knew it would taste like crap but it actually tastes like evil. Pure uniodized evil!

It took about 10 minutes for me to finish the liter. The evil sonofabitch liter. Eventually I finished it and I felt like I drank a liter of salt water. Which is about what I did. I laid  in bed in a fetus position fantasizing about strangling the person who created the Salt Water Flush for about a half hour. Then I jolted out of bed when a loud noise came from my gut. I ran to the bathroom and …I’ll spare you the rest of the story.

The moral of the story is that the Flush sucks a dirty trashcan full of infested something or others. I won’t do it for the rest of the cleanse. It’s not worth that kind of suffering. I think I’ll call the United Nations Security Council tomorrow.

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2 Responses to “The Cleanse: Day Four”

  1. Devon T. January 7, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

    I highly recommend adding a bit of apple cider vinegar to any diet. It would change the ph levels of your body towards alkaline which suffocates bacteria, it regulates circulation, and it negates the effect of dairy in your system. And it makes you regular, and flushes out being bloated from too much salt and too much water that your body might be retaining.

  2. Jess January 8, 2010 at 7:46 pm #

    I’ve done the cleanse a couple times, and the salt water does suck. The thing to do is just hold your breath and chug. The faster you get it down, the faster it is out of your system. Also, I have found that the more room temperature (or even slightly warm) the water is, the easier it is to drink. (The reason that you use salt water is because the ratio of salt to water is the same weight as human blood, which your body won’t digest. That is why it is so good at scrubbing everything out. If you eat or drink anything before you do the SW, it won’t be as effective and will just make you feel sick. Anything; even water.) You don’t have to do the SW cleanse, though– you can get some “Smooth Move” tea, or another laxative tea, but the salt water does kick the cleansing up a notch. Make sure to add some probiotics to your juicing routine when you are done with the cleanse. It helps everything get back into working order… (I mean, this cleanse is getting EVERYTHING out of your system.) I wouldn’t compromise the juice fast, though, so wait ’til you are off the cleanse to add the apple cider vinegar.

    Good luck, girly!

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