Archive | 11:29 pm

A Look at Some Hilariously Crappy Hand Tattoos

14 Jul

Let’s not kid ourselves. Can you think of one hand tattoo you’ve seen that looked good/tasteful? Thought not.

So let’s celebrate the stupidity of strangers and take a peek at some trashy tats:

*****SCROLL OVER IMAGES FOR MY SEMI-FUNNY COMMENTS*****

First let’s see some “Look Ma I Can Spell” tattoos:

Now let’s check out some of the “Give Me Any Excuse To Give The Finger So I Can Flash My New Tat” tattoos:

That sure was educational wasn’t it? Now let’s check out some of those nifty “Random Images Between My Fingers That Makes Me More Interesting” tattoos:

Now on to the dumb hipster side of town: The “Mustache” Tattoo:

Next up is the romantical and classic: The “Wedding Ring” Tattoo:

Take a peak at the “I’m a Badass. No, Really!” Tattoos:

This concludes our tour of shittylicious hand tattoos from around the world. Now if you still want one than be sure to be extra sure it’s awesome or you will be screwed and if you post a photo of it later online I might end up reposting it here and laughing at your bad judgment.

Toodles!

Restaurant Bathrooms: You Never Know What Weirdness Awaits

14 Jul

A few years ago I attended my sister’s Wedding Rehearsal Dinner in Houston, Texas. The restaurant was a nice small Italian joint near where I grew up.

The food was good and the service was swift and smart. There were about 15 of us there at the dinner. Mostly my sister’s family. Her hubby to be was from Mexico and couldn’t fly in too many family members for the event.

There was one thing about that dinner that will always be with me. No it wasn’t a toast or speech…but the bathroom. Why the bathroom you ask? Because the bathroom wallpaper consisted of cutout images of naked guys and their shlongs from Playgirl magazine and the like.

WHAT?! Yeah. I know.

So after being a bit weirded out and exiting the bathroom, I bump into my dad who was exiting the Men’s bathroom. I immediately say, “There’s porn in the bathroom!” He then tells me there are naked chicks all over the walls of the Men’s bathroom. I immediately push the Men’s door open and see he was not wrong. Hundreds of butt naked chick photos were used as wallpaper. Equal opportunity at least. Amazingly my very religious dad was not freaked out, surprised or even amused. You would think there were pics of flowers used as wallpaper based on how uninterested he was in the oddity of the situation.

What about kids? My 6 year old sister was there. (No not the one getting married. The other one…I have two, weirdo.) Is it not a bit odd to have pics of dongs or vajins surround a kid who just wants to pee and get back to eating?

Another odd thing I just realized is that no one else commented on the bathroom’s porno walls. I would assume it was a hallucination but my dad saw it too. So maybe everyone else was just too uptight to comment. LOL.

The lasagna was really good though. Mmmmm lasagna…

Anyone else been in a very oddly designed bathroom?

Time for Another Round of ‘Are They Related?’: Celebrity Edition

14 Jul

Dominique Swain VS. Amanda Bynes

They both have that “nice girl Lolita thoughts” look about them. Same face shape and coloring. Amanda’s nose is bigger and Dominique’s cheekbones stick out more but I say they look very much alike. They both fill a certain niche in Hollywood. Pretty, cute, blonde girl next door who you just might be able to talk into playing doctor. What?! Come on! They both have that slutty glint in their eye. Don’t get me wrong I think their both awesome. Great talents and very successful. But they still have that glimmer that says, “I won’t tell”.

Anyway…

Dominique has been riding the “Lolita” train since 97′ and has continued to pose in photo shoots as the character ever since. I think she’s about 30 and she still wears braids or flashes her undies “accidentally” in most shots. I wanna see Lolita 2: “Barefoot and Pregnant: The Post Nymphet Years”. (Side Note–I had to Google “Nymphet” to verify spelling since I can’t spell to save my life. Gross mistake.)

Now Amanda is a bit less creepy. For one thing she is much younger and seems to have built an empire of herself. She was one of Nickelodeon’s child actor from the mid/late 90’s through the mid/late 00’s. She was on probably about 4 shows on Nick. You know how Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and all those other kids were created in a Disney factory? Well the next models of child stars were created in the Nickelodeon factory. “All That” (a kids’ version of SNL on Nick), remember that? I do. Damn I miss Left Eye… 😦 (Side Note: TLC, remember them? Well they sang the theme song for “All That”. Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes was one of their three singers. She had the best voice, and she sure knew how to burn a cheating boyfriend/husband’s house down. Sadly…it was her house too at the time. She later died in a car accident.)

Anyway…

I think Dominique and Amanda could play sisters. And it’s creepy how much time has passed and how little either of them has aged. Especially Dominique. I think she’s an alien. Possibly a pod person.

Thoughts?