Archive | September, 2011

Finding Volunteer Work Harder Than Finding a Job. WTF?

3 Sep

Personal Rant Time! Woo-hoo!

I have been trying to get a volunteer gig in my community for the last month and a half and  I have had zero success of actually acquiring one. I guarantee it is not due to me not trying. First there was the Boys and Girl Club. I called and left a message every day for 2 weeks. No reply. Then there was the Vista Sheriff’s Office. These clowns did answer the phone but they said to call the San Diego Sheriff Employee hotline to sort out a volunteer job. Funnily enough I had called THEM a few minutes before and asked about the Vista office. The woman at the San Diego office said there were opportunities and they would have to be sorted out with the Vista Sheriff’s Office. She explained that volunteer programs are setup either through the San Diego Sheriff’s Office or through the individual local offices. Each local office is different in how they accept and manage volunteers. Vista deals with their own volunteers. Which means that the San Diego Sheriff office told me to call Vista Sheriff Office to enquire about volunteer gigs there since the San Diego Sheriff Office has nothing to do with Vista’s Sheriff Office volunteers. (Follow me?) I explained all of this craziness to the Vista Sheriffs Office lady and she said it was not true. The only volunteer jobs she had were for the elderly. I replied with, “So you are telling me that the Vista office does not take on under 65-year-old volunteers?” She replies, “NO THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID. I said that we only have available volunteer jobs for people 65 and older but any other Vista volunteer jobs can be setup through the San Diego Sheriff Office.” Odd since the San Diego Sheriff Office said all volunteer gigs are created and sorted out locally with your branch. I hung up. If this moron would be giving me tasks to do at the local Sheriff Office it’s not worth applying. God knows how shittily the office is run over there. The woman can’t even help sort out volunteers much less crime files and such.

Then there was the Women’s Center which looked promising. They replied to all my emails and did so politely. I was looking to volunteer as a victim advocate. Basically when a woman or girl is admitted to an ER or hospital in regard to a rape or abuse I am called to meet her and support her, and see that her needs are met. Sounds great. Oh wait. What? There is a month training and the next training starts in October. So I would start to volunteer in November earliest. Hmm. Considering I am moving in January. Maybe this isn’t such a fit. Damn.

Then there was the library tutor opportunity. I applied, simple enough. Only 20 pages of paper work. Oh so this also takes a month until I’m called to get a background check. OK. I guess. Then what? I get interviewed, and tested? Interesting. Whatever sure. I am in. Still waiting for the background check call.

It takes me 2 weeks to get called for interviews whenever I seriously apply for jobs. Real jobs. Jobs that pay. Pay money. It has taken me over a month and a half to find work FOR FREE and I am still waiting for a background check. WTF is wrong with this picture?

Why is there a picture of a Hitler cat wearing a bikini at the end of this post? It’s a reward for reading or at least scrolling down the whole of this rant post. Thank you and congratulations!


Neanderthal Actors AKA Giant Skulls of Hollywood

3 Sep

Let me single out some more freaks for our amusement. Today we will be focusing on these specimens’ ginormous craniums mixed with their celebrityness. Now we begin the judging and ridicule:

Matt Smith (Current Dr. Who)

Matt Smith is the new Dr. and is still feeling his way around the universe of the show. The audience is still adjusting to Smith and the show gets mixed reviews, but over all is still loved by its fans. I was introduced to the show during the last Dr.’s reign. But still I think Matt Smith is doing a wonderful job. But DAMN he has a huge head. Right?! It’s not only a big fucking head, but his tiny mouse eyes make him look like a caveman. Luckily for Matt his head is equally huge all the way around. (Unlike our next examples.)

Conan O’Brien (America’s #1 TV Host)

The vaguely smart populous to the very smart populous all know and love Conan. He is one funny man indeed. But let’s not focus on his kick ass humor and instead lets recognize his giant eggplant shaped head. Conan has tiny eyes like Matt Smith. But his head is more top-heavy than Matt’s. We all know that curl is supposed to distract most of us from his 8 finger forehead and most of the time it works. Good thinking, Conan. Keep on keeping on.

Dolph Lundgren (80’s Movie Bad Guy)

Nice pout, Dolph! (Sarcasm). He may look like a caveman but actually he is a bit of a super genious. He speaks several languages and has a degree in chemical engineering. Surprised? I was too. Back in the 80’s Dolph was a pretty big star. He was in loads of action films. Now he is trying to pull a Mickey Rourke type comeback in a few new crappy films. Back to the giant skull part of the one way conversation: Dolph has the opposite issue as Conan. Dolph’s jaw and lower skull is about 4 sizes too big for a normal human. He looks like he could bite through a car tire no problem. Dolph’s features all match up pretty will with the rest of his face and this make him even weirder looking. With larger eyes, nose and lips to match his huge fucking head he looks like a giant or a cartoon thug from one of the very very old Superman cartoons.

Russell Brand (Wacky Comedian/Actor)

Russell is known for his personality which is very similar to (exactly like) that of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow. They even go to the same hair dresser. Though he started as a standup comic he is now an actor of Hollywood films. He moved up the Hollywood ranks quickly and is now married to Katy (I have big boobs, see?) Perry. Head issues: Russell has a head similar to Dolph but it’s longer and therefor more noticeably mischievous looking. He looks like a children’s book villain. He is only missing a top had and coattails. His tiny tiny nose, eyes and mouth make his skull area seem even more vast. I have an idea how his nose atrophied but I’m too nice to say. Coke. Lots and loads and trucks full of coke.