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Is it me or does Giovanni Ribisi look like he could be the insane brother of Ryan Gosling?

5 Sep

They do look quite a bit alike. Not being racist or anything. But these two white boys could have come out of the same birth canal. One is fair haired, one is not, I know but their features are quite close. Regarding the sanity part: It’s all in the eyes. Scroll over their heads and take a look at what they were thinking the moment the photos were taken. Then you’ll see what I mean.

Ryan Gosling

Giovanni Ribisi

Told you so.

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Neanderthal Actors AKA Giant Skulls of Hollywood

3 Sep

Let me single out some more freaks for our amusement. Today we will be focusing on these specimens’ ginormous craniums mixed with their celebrityness. Now we begin the judging and ridicule:

Matt Smith (Current Dr. Who)

Matt Smith is the new Dr. and is still feeling his way around the universe of the show. The audience is still adjusting to Smith and the show gets mixed reviews, but over all is still loved by its fans. I was introduced to the show during the last Dr.’s reign. But still I think Matt Smith is doing a wonderful job. But DAMN he has a huge head. Right?! It’s not only a big fucking head, but his tiny mouse eyes make him look like a caveman. Luckily for Matt his head is equally huge all the way around. (Unlike our next examples.)

Conan O’Brien (America’s #1 TV Host)

The vaguely smart populous to the very smart populous all know and love Conan. He is one funny man indeed. But let’s not focus on his kick ass humor and instead lets recognize his giant eggplant shaped head. Conan has tiny eyes like Matt Smith. But his head is more top-heavy than Matt’s. We all know that curl is supposed to distract most of us from his 8 finger forehead and most of the time it works. Good thinking, Conan. Keep on keeping on.

Dolph Lundgren (80’s Movie Bad Guy)

Nice pout, Dolph! (Sarcasm). He may look like a caveman but actually he is a bit of a super genious. He speaks several languages and has a degree in chemical engineering. Surprised? I was too. Back in the 80’s Dolph was a pretty big star. He was in loads of action films. Now he is trying to pull a Mickey Rourke type comeback in a few new crappy films. Back to the giant skull part of the one way conversation: Dolph has the opposite issue as Conan. Dolph’s jaw and lower skull is about 4 sizes too big for a normal human. He looks like he could bite through a car tire no problem. Dolph’s features all match up pretty will with the rest of his face and this make him even weirder looking. With larger eyes, nose and lips to match his huge fucking head he looks like a giant or a cartoon thug from one of the very very old Superman cartoons.

Russell Brand (Wacky Comedian/Actor)

Russell is known for his personality which is very similar to (exactly like) that of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow. They even go to the same hair dresser. Though he started as a standup comic he is now an actor of Hollywood films. He moved up the Hollywood ranks quickly and is now married to Katy (I have big boobs, see?) Perry. Head issues: Russell has a head similar to Dolph but it’s longer and therefor more noticeably mischievous looking. He looks like a children’s book villain. He is only missing a top had and coattails. His tiny tiny nose, eyes and mouth make his skull area seem even more vast. I have an idea how his nose atrophied but I’m too nice to say. Coke. Lots and loads and trucks full of coke.

Mary Woronov: The Woman, The Legend

16 Aug

Mary Woronov

VIDEO of her videos:

You may not recognize her name, but her face and/or voice have probably left an impression on you somewhere along your movie watching journey.

Up until I did some research about her for this post I only knew half of the awesomeness that is she. I knew and loved the b movie queen Mary. I had no idea about the Andy Warhol Silver Factory Mary.

Let’s begin with the B movie queen Mary.

Mary Woronov was brilliant in a shit load of shitty film such as:

The Lady in Red

Rock ‘n’ Roll High School

Night of the Comet

TerrorVision

Chopping Mall

Warlock

Frog-g-g!

Not to mention the TV shows she was in that we all hate or adore:

Charlie’s Angels

Logan’s Run

Taxi

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

Knight Rider

Mr. Belvedere

Murder, She Wrote

Amazing Stories

Faerie Tale Theatre

St. Elsewhere

Webster

Monsters

Wings

Babylon 5

My So-Called Life

Highlander

Family Matters

Super Duper Supremely Condensed Warhol Connection Explanation

Her cool deep voice, lion-like face and 10″ thick cheek bones made an impression on Andy Warhol when she was young. She went on to be one of his break out stars. Sorta. She was on a bunch of his films and participated in the Velvet Underground as a go-go dancer and personality. She later moved on to films and television after the 1960’s groovy days died out. She went on to be a b movie queen. The Mary most of us (those of us who know who she is to begin with) know and love.

Thanks for all your wonderful work, Mary!

Nice Girl

Actresses with giant guns (arms)!

6 Dec

Some of these ladies might be dainty and manicured but if you piss them off they could pop your head right off your neck.

 

Angela Bassett especially in “What’s Love Got to do With it?” as Tina Turner

Madonna

Kelly Ripa AKA Regis Philbin’s puppeteer

Tara from True Blood AKA Rutina Wesley

Terminator Mom AKA Linda Hamilton

Are They Related?: Celebrity Edition, Witch VS. Vampire

5 Dec

Amber Benson VS. Kristin Bauer

What do you think? They both have that California relaxed look. Though since I said that they are probably from Iowa and Mississippi or something.

 

Here is a more dramatic look for them both. Though Kristin has a bunch on makeup on you can still see the similarities.

Let me know what you guys think. Am I off or did I hit it on the head?

 

 

 

 

Thank you Interscope for making domestic violence romantic again.

13 Aug

I was on CNN.com trying to pretend I care about the news, and I came across this video article:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2010/08/13/am.costello.domestic.violence.cnn?hpt=C2

So check out the music video itself before you decide what you really think:

Now…

Are you also pissed as shit? I know all relationships are different. But I think it’s very fucked up to illustrate an abusive relationship as sexy and give it a happy cuddly ending. Ending exactly as it began. Though the ending does show that it will be a cycle of abuse until someone leaves for good. But still…hot sex during abuse…really? Really??

I’m pretty sure being beat about the face doesn’t make one hot. Maybe I’m just weird.

There is much more that can be said about this video. Like why would Rihanna, a known victim of abuse, be cool with illustrating that abuse is a cause and effect type of deal? If you yell at me I hit you and then you yell and I hit again. The fact is that in reality you don’t have to say anything to be hit. You can act as calm as a bunny on a Summer day and get beat to shit because your bunny partner is an abusive prick. Anyway…

Did the hobbit get the temporary tattoos put on for the video to make him look badass? Or did he get them post hobbit to show chicks he was a manly man?

One final thought: How many “wife beaters” aka ribbed tanks does Eminem own? He wears them in almost every music video. And isn’t it funny he wears a wife beater while singing about hitting his girlfriend? HA.

P.S. Mike told me to make it clean that this is not an allegory for our domestic bliss.

Some stills from the video:

The math of the TV show wardrobe:

11 Aug

Smart/lazy  producers decide that some shows should have their lead cast in recognizably similar clothing throughout the season. So that each character remains in your head to appear to remain the same throughout time. Their style and tastes never changing. The producers want you to recognize the character immediately and remember their style as well. Now here are a few examples of this interestingness:

A= Sheldon Cooper– Long sleeved solid shirt under a short sleeved printed shirt, unless he’s wearing a jacket over it of course. With dark straight leg pants, either pattered or solid.

B= Howard Wolowitz– Solid turtle neck under buttoned down collared shirt with maybe a sweater vest thrown in for shits and giggles. He has some dramatic colored pants. Like the red ones seen above.

C= Rajesh Koothrappali– Zip down wind breaker or light jacket over a v-neck sweater over a buttoned down collared shirt. He usually has earth tone pants.

D= Leonard Hofstadter– T-shirt under a hooded zip front sweat shirt (always unzipped), under a jacket. He seems to wear jeans of varying colors, dark brown, blues, and dark greens.

E= Penny– She wears whatever flatters her figure in a cute way, unless she is supposed to look homey/slummy and she is in sweats. It is undeniable she has the largest variety of clothing styles among the whole cast.

Other shows do this too. Just check out some images of your favorite shows online. Not every show does it, but many do. Bet you’ll hate me now because you won’t be able to stop noticing it. Sorry. But it had to be shared.