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Dr. Floyd.

7 Jan

Max had a popcorn kernel stuck in one of his recently removed wisdom tooth holes.

He couldn’t get it out on his own and called the dentist to make an appt for tomorrow. He asked if I could take a look in the mean time.

I went straight into Dr. Lena mode.

I got all the necessary equipment out.

The tooth mirror thing, the flat hooked tooth pick metal thing, tweezers, a light and a syringe with no needle to try and plow that kernel out using water jetted right on it.

Then I sterilized the working station, myself and the equipment.

It was time to begin. I tried to jet water into the gun cavity but I couldn’t reach it. So I say Max down and tried the flat hooked tooth pick metal thing. That worked very well and after a few minutes it dislodged. I had him rinse and mission complete. No need for a $100 dentist appt.

He later wrote me a yelp review and sent it via text: (Slight edit made for context.)

” Yelp review for Dr. Floyd’s. 

She got the job done in a calm and careful manor. She was very reassuring and confident. She had the tools needed for the job. Although she didn’t wear a mask. All in all, I would return. I think she works a lot on kids as she was in a hedgehog onesie the entire time.”

Day 3: The Cleanse

7 Jan

My sister came to visit for the weekend and I was worried that would put me at risk of eating like an animal again. Then I rembered she eats like a bird on a diet so I was fine. (No offense, Kile.) 

We went to a great Thai place down the street and I had a salad with very very light peanut sauce and some edamame. So I was doing great. Except the half a cannof Diet Coke. Ugh. It’s just soooo hard to give up everything all at once. But it wasn’t a full can so I still left happyish with myself.

I later had a banana for a midnight snack.

That wasn’t much food for the day but I did wake up around 2:30pm. So I plan to sleep like a normal human tonight and wake up around 11am. This should give me plenty of time to have a wider range of juices and food.

Weight tonight was 169.4lbs

Disappointing but understandable since I have been sleeping terribly the last few days. 

Tomorrow night I expect to be around 168 or less. 

We also walked around Downtown Burbank for a good hour or more. That was fun. My sister was not very impressed with what Downtown Burbank has to offer but she liked the tacos she picked up on the way back.

Oh and she also hated my new Hedghog suit. She said I look ridiculous. I proceeded to tell her ‘thank you for your opinion but you can fuck right off’. 


Tomorrow should be fun. We’re getting massages!! My favorite!

Is it me or does Giovanni Ribisi look like he could be the insane brother of Ryan Gosling?

5 Sep

They do look quite a bit alike. Not being racist or anything. But these two white boys could have come out of the same birth canal. One is fair haired, one is not, I know but their features are quite close. Regarding the sanity part: It’s all in the eyes. Scroll over their heads and take a look at what they were thinking the moment the photos were taken. Then you’ll see what I mean.

Ryan Gosling

Giovanni Ribisi

Told you so.

The Single Parent Disney Tear Jerker Technique:

5 Dec

Yesterday I realized while watching “The Little Mermaid” (What you got a problem with that?) that Ariel’s mom was deceased. Then two seconds later I realized that many more Disney stories are centered around the child of a single parent. With the missing parent usually dead.

Here are the films I could think of off the top of my head that fit the Single Parent Disney Tear Jerker Technique:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Pinocchio-Gepetto isn’t married, so there.
Dumbo
Bambi
Cinderella
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
The Lion King
Finding Nemo
Ratatouille

If you think of more than let me know. But it does seem a little odd and very manipulative of Disney doesn’t it?

Thank you Interscope for making domestic violence romantic again.

13 Aug

I was on CNN.com trying to pretend I care about the news, and I came across this video article:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2010/08/13/am.costello.domestic.violence.cnn?hpt=C2

So check out the music video itself before you decide what you really think:

Now…

Are you also pissed as shit? I know all relationships are different. But I think it’s very fucked up to illustrate an abusive relationship as sexy and give it a happy cuddly ending. Ending exactly as it began. Though the ending does show that it will be a cycle of abuse until someone leaves for good. But still…hot sex during abuse…really? Really??

I’m pretty sure being beat about the face doesn’t make one hot. Maybe I’m just weird.

There is much more that can be said about this video. Like why would Rihanna, a known victim of abuse, be cool with illustrating that abuse is a cause and effect type of deal? If you yell at me I hit you and then you yell and I hit again. The fact is that in reality you don’t have to say anything to be hit. You can act as calm as a bunny on a Summer day and get beat to shit because your bunny partner is an abusive prick. Anyway…

Did the hobbit get the temporary tattoos put on for the video to make him look badass? Or did he get them post hobbit to show chicks he was a manly man?

One final thought: How many “wife beaters” aka ribbed tanks does Eminem own? He wears them in almost every music video. And isn’t it funny he wears a wife beater while singing about hitting his girlfriend? HA.

P.S. Mike told me to make it clean that this is not an allegory for our domestic bliss.

Some stills from the video:

The thing about child beauty pageants…

16 Jul

is that they are super fucked up!! These parents are 100x worse than child actor parents. At least the child actor parents don’t sell the kids as adults. I mean who really thinks a kid should look like this? (Other than a pedo, obviously.):

***Scroll over the tiara’s carriage for a hateful yet all too true message. :)***

These poor girls get their teeth bleached (or wear false teeth over their own growing in teeth), wear wigs, bleach, highlight, dye and fry their hair, spray tan, pluck/shave/wax their eyebrows, wear false eyelashes, as well a thick ass layer of whore-like makeup (what?), practice their walk and “talent” sometimes 2 hours a day with their obsessive controlling overbearing mothers who force their dreams into their children’s heads, and eventually these girls learn to become unbearable control freak nightmare children who will very very very unlikely reach the goal of being either Ms. America or taking over Angelina Jolie’s spot in Hollywood after the government finds out Angie adopts the kids so she can milk the life force out of them and stay young and beautiful forever.

*** Scroll over money wasted for more “humor”***

Let’s look at the money aspect:

The training/coach costs about $1000

The makeup costs about $100

The dress costs about $400-$5000

Spray tan, manicure, teeth bleach or fake teeth (aka flippers) costs about $500

Entering a pageant costs about $1000

Travel/hotel probably about $300-$2000

Costing on the low side an average of $3300 for the girl’s first pageant.  Then the high side is about…$9600. Note that the average first timer would likely splurge their first time to insure the best for the child and end up spending like there is no tomorrow. Now how many pageants a year do you think the average girl goes to? Based on what I have heard from a teen pageant contestant back in the day, the average child beauty contestant enters about 10 a year. The heavy hitters go to probably 20-30 a year.

That would mean on average the family would spend about $63000. With the super crazies spending $18,9000. HOLY SHIT!!

The worst part of it all it that it’s just a fucking scam so these pageants can get your money no matter what happens. Think about it. What do you win? You win a $50 crown and maybe if your lucky a cash prize or scholarship worth a few hundred. The teen pageants are more lucrative for the contestants though. But we’re talking kids’ competitions here. The confidence and fun aspect is good and all but I would think that if the parents put that money to horse riding classes or jujitsu classes or even dance classes the girl would end up being much more emotionally and mentally balanced. Plus when she grows up she will likely be the type of personality many of us normal folks wanna choke. Nip it in the bud. (Not in the pedo way.)

And why do the kid’s division pageant judges seem to be mostly older heavy ladies? WTF is up with that? Guess they were the H.S. teasees who grew up and decided if they couldn’t be hotties they could tell little potential future hotties they just aren’t good enough. What a sick sick revenge. Genius!

Not to mention many of their names are like: Aniston, Kaylee, Boston, Keanna, Teeghan, and Sesame. I made that last one up but you get the point, right?

Another thing: Who attends these competitions? Are there huge crowds awaiting the final winner like American Idol? No. It’s mostly just the parents and friends. So what does that say? It says no one cares but you because it’s freaking dumb and a waste of time and cruel to the future development of the girls. That and it is a really long ceremony and it’s a bit boring.

Who else attends CHILD BEAUTY pageants? Let’s think…who would be interented in little girls dressed up competeing to be the cutest among a bunch of young adorable dimple faced girls, where they dance, wear bathing suits and blow kisses into the crowd with a big smile? Hmmmm…? Oh I know…PEDOS!

Sid’s Search for Mike.

23 May