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Finding Volunteer Work Harder Than Finding a Job. WTF?

3 Sep

Personal Rant Time! Woo-hoo!

I have been trying to get a volunteer gig in my community for the last month and a half and  I have had zero success of actually acquiring one. I guarantee it is not due to me not trying. First there was the Boys and Girl Club. I called and left a message every day for 2 weeks. No reply. Then there was the Vista Sheriff’s Office. These clowns did answer the phone but they said to call the San Diego Sheriff Employee hotline to sort out a volunteer job. Funnily enough I had called THEM a few minutes before and asked about the Vista office. The woman at the San Diego office said there were opportunities and they would have to be sorted out with the Vista Sheriff’s Office. She explained that volunteer programs are setup either through the San Diego Sheriff’s Office or through the individual local offices. Each local office is different in how they accept and manage volunteers. Vista deals with their own volunteers. Which means that the San Diego Sheriff office told me to call Vista Sheriff Office to enquire about volunteer gigs there since the San Diego Sheriff Office has nothing to do with Vista’s Sheriff Office volunteers. (Follow me?) I explained all of this craziness to the Vista Sheriffs Office lady and she said it was not true. The only volunteer jobs she had were for the elderly. I replied with, “So you are telling me that the Vista office does not take on under 65-year-old volunteers?” She replies, “NO THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID. I said that we only have available volunteer jobs for people 65 and older but any other Vista volunteer jobs can be setup through the San Diego Sheriff Office.” Odd since the San Diego Sheriff Office said all volunteer gigs are created and sorted out locally with your branch. I hung up. If this moron would be giving me tasks to do at the local Sheriff Office it’s not worth applying. God knows how shittily the office is run over there. The woman can’t even help sort out volunteers much less crime files and such.

Then there was the Women’s Center which looked promising. They replied to all my emails and did so politely. I was looking to volunteer as a victim advocate. Basically when a woman or girl is admitted to an ER or hospital in regard to a rape or abuse I am called to meet her and support her, and see that her needs are met. Sounds great. Oh wait. What? There is a month training and the next training starts in October. So I would start to volunteer in November earliest. Hmm. Considering I am moving in January. Maybe this isn’t such a fit. Damn.

Then there was the library tutor opportunity. I applied, simple enough. Only 20 pages of paper work. Oh so this also takes a month until I’m called to get a background check. OK. I guess. Then what? I get interviewed, and tested? Interesting. Whatever sure. I am in. Still waiting for the background check call.

It takes me 2 weeks to get called for interviews whenever I seriously apply for jobs. Real jobs. Jobs that pay. Pay money. It has taken me over a month and a half to find work FOR FREE and I am still waiting for a background check. WTF is wrong with this picture?

Why is there a picture of a Hitler cat wearing a bikini at the end of this post? It’s a reward for reading or at least scrolling down the whole of this rant post. Thank you and congratulations!

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Attention all cashiers!!:

8 Dec

STOP FUCKING HANDING ME MY CHANGE OVER MY BILLS AND RECEIPT, YOU FUCKING TWATCOCKS*!!!!!!

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Port Washington, Lena herself was a simple cashier at Genovese Pharmacy later known as Eckerd Pharmacy, later still known as Duane Reade. Once there she was taught the basics of being a cashier: ring up their crap, tell them the total, bag it then take their money and give them their change and receipt. She may have hated some parts of that job but she didn’t think that the simple cashier work was fucking brain surgery. So today Lena is going to share with EVERYONE how a proper cashier hands back change with a receipt. Watch and learn. It may save your life someday…or maybe not.

*Twatcocks [twaht-koks]

1. Unisex title for someone who is acting like an asshole, but worse.

–noun Slang: Vulgar.

Origin: Lena made it up.

The Weight Wall is Broken

3 Oct

So I will post about a lot of awesome crap I’ve seen and done since last I wrote but this particular post is about weight and the battle to not be a oinker.

January of this year I decided to buy a scale. Why you ask. Because my subconscious was trying to tell me I had gained a lot in the last couple years and didn’t even realize. Maybe if I weighed myself and saw the undeniable numbers I would stop eating junk food 10x a day. So I did. I am a curvy lady thanks to my grandmas, but not heavy. I thought at the time I weighed around 140 maximum. Well…I weighed myself that night and almost had a heart attack. It read 158.0 lbs. I was mortified. In high school I was between 140-125 (thanks to H.S. trials and tribulations my weight fluctuated often.) Action was taken immediately. I decided to start by recording my weight and what I ate in a journal every AM and before bed. This helped me see what made me gain or lose weight. Mysteriously when I ate well I lost weight. Wow, what a scientific breakthrough! This went on for a couple of months and I eventually reached 145ish. Then I decided to tackle the Master Cleanse. It worked great! It was hard as hell to stick to and I was starving all the time but it paid off. I lost another 10 lbs. This was due to the diet and my stomach having had shrunk due to so little eating while on the diet. After the cleanse I found myself eating less during the day. Though every once in a while I would visit a McDonald’s or Domino’s.

Anyway…

I eventually reached (hit) a very steady (hard) 138 lbs. wall. It was impossible to break it for months. I did not workout which makes losing weight take a million times longer, but I still ate pretty well. (Although I was having the occasional McD’s and all.) Side note: I had stopped journaling me food, but did keep doing the weight notes daily.

Again time passed and I needed to do something else to bash that damn 138 pound wall down. So I made an excel file which lets me write my my diet and weight daily. But this was much better than the book journal because I could see every day all at once. I could train myself to realize that I was eating a lot of food daily and if I ate a salad instead of fried chicken and mashed potatoes all the time I might be able to break the wall slowly.

This is a screen capture of the excel of the first 2 days:

Well so far the damn thing works better than any real diet. Because I am not at 133.0, my lowest yet since right after High School.

See that on the first day I gained 2.5 lbs in ONE DAY from eating non stop? But it was yummy. What?

I am posting this for anyone who is interested in breaking that wall. You can do it. Just keep trying. Trying and failing and then trying again is the only way you can do it. Eventually you will find how to do it for yourself.

Good luck and think healthy.

Where have all the Nazis gone?

24 Aug

Chicago that’s where!

Mike and I were at Wizard World Chicago this past weekend. As per usual we had a great time and he was commissioned for many many sketches. Blank cover sketches, full figure sketches, head sketches and all that jazz. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then these two dudes stopped by the booth. They looked like they walked out of a beating scene from Boys Don’t Cry. Meaning they looked like scary dangerous rednecks. T-shirts with cut off sleeves, tattoos here there and everywhere and none were pretty colors, just black ink faded into dark blue. Anyway they were pretty odd looking amongst the nerd herd at the convention. They commissioned a sketch from Mike and as I took the details I noticed the older guy’s tattoos on his arm. Well lets just say he either likes the SS and the Nazi party or he got drunk and someone pulled a shitty prank on him back at the tattoo parlor one night. Either way he had a huge swastika and two or three “SS” symbols on him. My first thought was to act like a cold asshole to him from then on but try my best not to yell at him about his hateful tattoos. Then my next thought was to take all the money off him we could for the commission and use it for something good.

I sure as hell didn’t want to get jumped after the con so we didn’t ask him about his body “art” instead we chose to shut up and avoid a painful beating.

Long story slightly short: Mike did the commission and we accepted the cash. Later we had thought maybe the guy was a reformed Nazi or maybe he was a Buddhist but the guy fucked up the symbol at the tattoo parlor.

Either way we have the guys money and we plan to spend it on something he would hate to if her were a Nazi, like Mexican food or challah bread french toast. That’s not so bad, right?

Hope you like the new look!!

6 Aug

I worked my ass off trying to make it nice for you. I’m still sorting some things out. But the basic look is done. I need to categorize like 100 posts still, but that’s all. Well..enjoy an easier way to go through my head.

Restaurant Bathrooms: You Never Know What Weirdness Awaits

14 Jul

A few years ago I attended my sister’s Wedding Rehearsal Dinner in Houston, Texas. The restaurant was a nice small Italian joint near where I grew up.

The food was good and the service was swift and smart. There were about 15 of us there at the dinner. Mostly my sister’s family. Her hubby to be was from Mexico and couldn’t fly in too many family members for the event.

There was one thing about that dinner that will always be with me. No it wasn’t a toast or speech…but the bathroom. Why the bathroom you ask? Because the bathroom wallpaper consisted of cutout images of naked guys and their shlongs from Playgirl magazine and the like.

WHAT?! Yeah. I know.

So after being a bit weirded out and exiting the bathroom, I bump into my dad who was exiting the Men’s bathroom. I immediately say, “There’s porn in the bathroom!” He then tells me there are naked chicks all over the walls of the Men’s bathroom. I immediately push the Men’s door open and see he was not wrong. Hundreds of butt naked chick photos were used as wallpaper. Equal opportunity at least. Amazingly my very religious dad was not freaked out, surprised or even amused. You would think there were pics of flowers used as wallpaper based on how uninterested he was in the oddity of the situation.

What about kids? My 6 year old sister was there. (No not the one getting married. The other one…I have two, weirdo.) Is it not a bit odd to have pics of dongs or vajins surround a kid who just wants to pee and get back to eating?

Another odd thing I just realized is that no one else commented on the bathroom’s porno walls. I would assume it was a hallucination but my dad saw it too. So maybe everyone else was just too uptight to comment. LOL.

The lasagna was really good though. Mmmmm lasagna…

Anyone else been in a very oddly designed bathroom?

A Cosplay Diary: Idea

28 May

Meet Madame Masque. She’s all burnt up under that mask and emotionally charbroiled in the inside, but she sure does looks cool in that outfit carrying those badass guns.

Here’s a full figure type pic:I got my buddy Kerry from H.S. to help me make this ensemble due to my shatty  (no not shitty, shAtty) sewing skills. Kerry is a costume designer for theatres in the NYC area. I got me some connections. 🙂

Anyway. We’ll meet sometime next week to figure out a plan of execution then go from there.

In the meantime I got some wicked awesome boots to start the look of the costume, to set the mood kinda. What do you think?:

Suck it all you bought in Ricky’s Wonder Woman costume cosplay wannabes! Now… where can a girl buy a big cool fake gun and some gold spray paint?

I’ll keep you guys updated on the progression of this monster.