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Life Lesson: Two way mirror test

9 Jan

If you’re in a dressing/ changing room and you look in the mirror and realize to yourself that someone may be on the other side of that mirror and that is not  ok with you than check this test out:


Department stores sometimes hire people to watch shoppers change in dressing rooms behind two way mirrors to guard against theft.

This test can let you know quickly and easily.

You’re welcome.

Also apologies if I posted about this once before but it’s good to know so it’s good to have a refresher course.

Albert Fish: The Worst of the Worst

4 Jan

‘Albert’ Hamilton Fish was a serial killer in the 1920’s through the 1930’s.

You can google him for the morbid details if you’re curious. I’ll spare the more delicate readers.

Some of the lighter highlights included shoving pins and needles up his arse and killing and cooking then eating humans. Yes that is the lighter stuff. It’s how and to whom he would do these things that made him the most vile of all people.


He even looked like a old evil man witch. 

There was a rumor that he broke the electric chair used in his electrocution due to all the pins and needles still inbedded in his rear.

Oddly he was thought to be a loving  father to his own children. He did not pay the same respect to other children though.

Ok that’s enough grimness for one post. Google him if you’re intrested in true crime. Otherwise watch this video to reset your mood back to pleasantness.

Puppies!!!

One of My Heroes: Full Moon Features/Charles Band

31 Mar

In 1989 Charles Band created Full Moon Productions. He wanted a production company that would churn out a horror/sci-fi film once a month(ish). The films would be made on a super low budget but still look much better than their competitors (similar low budget production companies). Through the 90’s Fullmoon was noticeably successful. The Puppet Master and Subspecies franchises kept audiences wanting more. They also put out dozens of other films which varied in success. The later 90’s into the early 2000’s saw Fullmoon lose its audience. Band renamed the company several times since 1989 and it’s now called Fullmoon Features. The company is now actually starting to bring itself back to life. Being a huge fan of the company I am super excited and would kill to work with them. HINT HINT, Mr. Band.

But really folks. You need to check out some of their best works and enjoy the goof and wonder that is the mighty and terrible Fullmoon Features. See below for a list of films from which to start your Fullmoon journey:

 

1. Castle Freak- Let’s just lay it all out on the table now so you know what you’re getting into. Like pulling a band-aid quickly. Especially if that band-aid happens to be a naked rotting castle freak wreaking havok on the new tenants.

2. Puppet Master 1- William Hickey, puppets that kill, and a sexual psychic. What more can you want? Oh…you’re looking for a puppet that vomits up leaches, too? Let’s see…You’re in luck. We have one right here. She even cuddles the victims that she’s vomiting them on.

3. Subspecies 2- In all honesty I think Gary Oldman might have taken a note or two from Radu. That whole decrepit yet enticing thing was Radu’s idea first. Also notice that the blood in this is actually really really gross. These vampires are very messy and tend to let the blood just leak out of their mouths after they take a victim. Eww.

4. Dollman vs. Demonic Toys- A 13” tall mini-cop from the future, played by Tim motherfucking Thomerson!, must rescue ”Nurse Ginger”, a mini-bimbo from the present (She was shrunk down…its a long story.) from being impregnated by a demon possessed baby doll. No one wants to give birth to the anti-christ. Not even mini-bimbos named Nurse Ginger.

 

So please check out the site of the Company and even a few of the film. I can promise you one thing: YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ANYTHING FROM FULLMOON. Even if it’s not quite your cup of tea. It’s still some tea you will never forget the taste of.

 

http://www.fullmoondirect.com/

http://www.fullmoonfeatures.com/

8 Things I Wish I Never Knew. (Warning: Very Very Gross)

6 Sep

Some of these will not be explained for your own benefit. But if you are curious Google is the Gate Keeper of all thing gross and wonderful alike.

1. Jell-o contains gelatin which is made from the ground bones and hides of horses, cows and pigs. Not only Jell-o but a load of common yummys are made with gelatin. Most non-chocolate candies in fact. Many gel capped pills too. Actually it’s in just about everyother thing we use. See for yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatin

2. Two Girls and a Cup- You don’t have to see it to feel the urge to vomit for eternity. You just have to find out what it is.

3. Bukkake-What a mess. Ugh. There has GOT to be a better use of all that. Seems a waste. Maybe as glue or something. I don’t know.

4. Bee spit mixed with pollen later vomited out is called honey. You know you love it.

5. There are tiny little mites that live in all of our eyebrows and eyelashes. They feed on the oils produced from our hairs. At night they migrate down to our eyes and suck the juice from our night tears. LOL. Night tears. Sounds like a crappy 80’s song.

6. Smell is particulate. This means that every time you smell a fart the particles from that person’s ass just floated their way into your nose. You might as well have just shoved your nose up their ass.

7. Hotel beds are petri dishes. Top sheets (bed covers) are very rarely changed between guests. You can clone a few dozen people from the DNA left on the one you used last time you stayed in a hotel. Maybe best to take it off and put it on the floor for the remainder of your stay.

8. When I was born I came out of my mother’s vagina. Same goes for you, buddy. Unless of course you were too big to fit out of there. Than you were sliced out like Bella Swan’s kid, without the vampires ripping open the womb with their teeth part.

American Psycho spotted having dinner alone:

27 Oct

Mike and I had dinner earlier this week and saw this loon eating dinner alone. Just thought I would share our thoughts and observation.

Thank you Interscope for making domestic violence romantic again.

13 Aug

I was on CNN.com trying to pretend I care about the news, and I came across this video article:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2010/08/13/am.costello.domestic.violence.cnn?hpt=C2

So check out the music video itself before you decide what you really think:

Now…

Are you also pissed as shit? I know all relationships are different. But I think it’s very fucked up to illustrate an abusive relationship as sexy and give it a happy cuddly ending. Ending exactly as it began. Though the ending does show that it will be a cycle of abuse until someone leaves for good. But still…hot sex during abuse…really? Really??

I’m pretty sure being beat about the face doesn’t make one hot. Maybe I’m just weird.

There is much more that can be said about this video. Like why would Rihanna, a known victim of abuse, be cool with illustrating that abuse is a cause and effect type of deal? If you yell at me I hit you and then you yell and I hit again. The fact is that in reality you don’t have to say anything to be hit. You can act as calm as a bunny on a Summer day and get beat to shit because your bunny partner is an abusive prick. Anyway…

Did the hobbit get the temporary tattoos put on for the video to make him look badass? Or did he get them post hobbit to show chicks he was a manly man?

One final thought: How many “wife beaters” aka ribbed tanks does Eminem own? He wears them in almost every music video. And isn’t it funny he wears a wife beater while singing about hitting his girlfriend? HA.

P.S. Mike told me to make it clean that this is not an allegory for our domestic bliss.

Some stills from the video:

Awesomely shittylicious movies:

25 May

~~Scroll over the posters for films’ info and enjoy the clips and previews~~

Transylvania 6-5000

Troll 2

Ticks

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

My Stepmother is an Alien

To see the whole of the film just search it on youtube and you’ll see it.

My Mom’s a Werewolf

Once Bitten

Bad parents should have to hand over their reproductive organs.

2 Apr

There are many things that piss me off. Obviously enough things to have compelled me to create this blog.

One of these many things is seen below in a crappily photoshopped image I did (with the help of Mike).

Observe:

A few weeks ago I noticed a baby in a strolled sucking down a can of Coca-Cola. What the fuck?! This was not the first time I’d seen it either, but it was the first time I saw it and had a blog where I could share my disgust for shitty parenting.

How is there not mandatory sterilization? People should have to take a general knowledge test before they get to pop one out. Question 1 could say, “Do you feed the baby regularly? Yes or No.” Question 2, “Do you give the baby baths and clean it? Yes or No.” Question 3, “Is a drink with excessive chemicals and dissolvents ok to give your baby? Yes or No.” If they can’t get past question 3 without a wrong answer than they are sterilized. End of discussion, hand over your reproductive organs.

Grownups and kids of a certain age CAN have soda, they know the risks and their bodies are pretty much starting to rot already anyway. No use fighting nature and all. But babies are in production, still growing and developing all kinds of crap they will have to worry about maintaining later in life. Give them a clean start God damn it.

‘Nuff said.

Is Hellraiser real?

6 Dec

I found this about 3 bloocks from my apartment:

This is the mattress from the film “Hellraiser 2: Hellbound”:

Anyone think I should worry?

Don’t worry, folks. I’m ready.

I’ve seen the films.

I’ll need to find an autistic girl who looks like Brad Pitt and a nice brunette lady who’s dad was skinned by her mother in law.

https://nicegirlmeanthoughts.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/brad-pitt-as-little-girl-i-know-right/

Consider it done.

The vampires in 30 DAYS OF NIGHT…

6 Dec

look a little bit inbred.

Let’s compare and contrast:

See, I told you so.