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Taxes can suck my…

19 Sep

…well they just suck.

If you make say…$12,000 in a single check they take out about $6,000!!! YES $6,000.                                                                     NOT $600 BUT $6,000.

Let me make sure this is perfectly clear.

If you make twelve THOUSAND dollars in one check. The taxes taken out can equal six THOUSAND dollars.

That’s HALF THE FUCKING CHECK!!!

It was fun while it lasted.

It was fun while it lasted.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

end.

The Japanification of toys…

17 Sep

has ruined the doll and toy industry. Some toys, dolls, and figures DON’T NEED TO LOOK LIKE ANIME CHARACTERS!!

Several kid’s toys nowadays have been made to look like anime characters. WTF?!

See visuals below…

Before

Before

After

After

These toys and many others have been given oversized eyes and heads. Not only do these not look like real pets, they look like they’re high too.

I have nothing against anime. I love Japan and Japanese toys and such. But DAMN, why is the look spreading to ALL the toys EVERYWHERE?

All of the toys are starting to look alike. Big head + big eyes + tiny neck + medium body= most toys right now

Sad is me.

Peach cobbler Ice Cream…

17 Sep

from Ben & Jerry’s is speachlessly good. Just go now and get some. Trust me.

GO, GO NOW!

Fucking genius!!

The Tin Man’s junk…

17 Sep

is on our shower curtain.

I wear a very high Rx for my glasses and whenever I have to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom I don’t usually wear my them.

Knowing that, check out our shower curtain and see what I see every time I get up in the middle of the night.

First, this is what I see with my glasses on:

Glasses on.

Finally, this is what I see in the middle of the night:

Tell me that you don't see his junk in the green circle.

Tell me that you don't see his junk in the green circle.

Toy commercials…

16 Sep

seem to have disappeared off the face of TV. WTF happened?!

I used to love those “Littlest Pet Shop”, “Nerf”, “Hot Wheels” commercials, AND TOYS!

Maybe I’ll catch a commercial for some toy every other other month but the new toys look like shit!

Although everyone is sick of hearing it it’s true: video games have ruined kids. “Non-screen entertainment” ™  doesn’t interest kids in the least anymore.

Littlest Pet Shop

Before (when it ruled):

You rule!

Now (when it sucks):

YOU SUCK!!

Korean BBQ…

16 Sep

is the best thing human’s have ever created, with no exception.

When ordering this delightful godsend you are  basicly choosing chicken, shrimp and/or beef for the main dish to BBQ.

The tables in these magnificent restaurants have a hole in the middle where the BBQ is BBQ’d. There’s a grill there and either charcoal or a gas fire is set in this hole (in your table).

Then before your main dish is brought out to cook at your table, you get about 10-20 plates of mini-dishes. This things can be eaten separately or BBQ’d or eaten with a mouthful of your favorite BBQ’d dish.

These mini-dishes range from spicy lettuce stuff to octopus to bok choy to other stuff I can’t spell/pronounce. But it all tastes GREAT!!!

Heaven is real, and it's at a Korean BBQ restaurant.

Thanks to Nina for taking me to Heaven in Queens!!

Wouldn’t it be funny…

16 Sep

if someone had the balls to tell Sarah Silverman she’s only funny every other other time?

Sorry. But you know it's true.

Sookie Stackhouse is…

16 Sep

supposed to be plump(ish). FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU, TV producers.

Skinny bitch.Book Sookie.

I swear to god…

16 Sep

I passed by someone today that reeked of condoms. The smell was so powerful I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d bought a 10 pack and opened each one and rubbed it all over themselves. Do they think the smell will subconsciously tell people that they are responsible sexers?

Do not use these as cologne!

Buy some cK1 or Brut it’s only 10 bucks.

If I had a zillion bucks…

15 Sep

I’d build a building out of gold and crystal and pearls. Kind of like how the new 13 ghosts’ house was but fancier with actual gold.

13 Ghosts' Crib

Princess Mombi’s palace is awesome too. I would steal the mirror look.

Mombi's Crib

Follow me to where the magic happens. Wink wink.

I am taking donations starting now via cash sent to my apartment. Checks are accepted, too. (As long as you mail a photocopy of your Driver’s License with it.)