Day 2: The Cleanse

6 Jan

Let’s just start by saying I’ll go to the end of the earth to help other people but most times I would even lift a finger for myself. Unless it’s something vital or cake related.

But if someone ask for something I’ll usually help but when I set goals or ask myself favors I usually tell myself to fuck off and ask someone who cares.

With that said: I have been on my cleanse all day. But I may have altered it a tiny bit so I can still do it without running out to get a burger.

I got some freeze dried fruits and also some dried mango and advacado. I had the dried mango with spices on it. It was magical. Then the crushed advacado with some salt. Salt and spices are the bendable pieces I altered to the original plan.

When I get back to work Monday I plan to have coffees too just to survive as well. With soy milk.

The things I will not have at all:

  1. Meat
  2. Cheese
  3. Bread
  4. Fried foods
  5. Any junk food
  6. Any candy
  7. Any other sweets or cookies or cakes etc
  8. Ice cream
  9. Dairy of any kind

That’s the main thing.
I MAY steam some veggies but that’s all. No butter or anything else on them.

I venture to say I can last more than 10 days with those limits but we shall see for sure.

My weight at the end of day 2: 170lbs (ugh!!)

My goal weight: 125lbs


Oh and I got the best thing ever today

A Hedgehog Kigurumi suit. It’s adorable. And the most comfortable thing ever. I’m very tempted to wear it to work. Maybe I can get some kind of pajama day thing going on and wear it then.

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The Decline of Crayons

5 Jan

A few more nuts ago I bought a fresh set of Crayola crayons for this awesome coloring book I bought at Walgreens.

I was so excited to pour back into an old childhood pastime I loved to deeply back in the day.

Finally I got home and set up a very zen coffee table space with a snack, tea and laid everything out. I took a breath and was ready to go.

I opened the fresh pack of crayons and then sought out the perfect page. After a few minutes I found it. I was ready to begin. I picked out a nice red and began.

After half a second of drawing I was in shock. The crayon was garbage. For I minute I thought it must be me. Or just this one crayon. I switched to a green. No. No. Noooo!

It wasn’t me. The cheap bastards at Crayola have changed the recipe. The best crayons ever are now as shitty as those you get for free at TGIFridays. The new Crayola crayons are waxy and almost greasy. They don’t imprint the color like they used to. 

I remember the old Crayolas from when I was 12 or younger and those colors were BOLD on the paper. Now the colors are almost transparent over the paper. It’s gross.

I’m going to find out what these monsters did to my crayons and I’m going to get answers. There was most likely some kind of cost savings that prompted the change but I don’t care. I want my crayons back!!

Oh and it’s not just me:

http://i.fluther.com/88497/has-anyone-noticed-the-change-in-crayons/

This may lead to some answers:

http://www.beasleyallen.com/news/safety-alert-over-crayola-crayons/

Day 1: My Cleanse

5 Jan

I’m on vacation until the 9th of this month so most of my day is spent sleeping. This helps a lot when you’re avoiding food.

Today I had a glass of fresh squeezed OJ, a dozen or so cherries, a peach and a bag of protein chips. That last one technically was against my rules but since this is my cleanse I’ll allow it. Ha. They were super healthy and delicious.

I’ll post weights starting tomorrow on day 2. But I did drop 2.5lbs from last night. So that’s cool.

I also bought a ton of fruit and veg today to make life easier.

Wish me luck!

Albert Fish: The Worst of the Worst

4 Jan

‘Albert’ Hamilton Fish was a serial killer in the 1920’s through the 1930’s.

You can google him for the morbid details if you’re curious. I’ll spare the more delicate readers.

Some of the lighter highlights included shoving pins and needles up his arse and killing and cooking then eating humans. Yes that is the lighter stuff. It’s how and to whom he would do these things that made him the most vile of all people.


He even looked like a old evil man witch. 

There was a rumor that he broke the electric chair used in his electrocution due to all the pins and needles still inbedded in his rear.

Oddly he was thought to be a loving  father to his own children. He did not pay the same respect to other children though.

Ok that’s enough grimness for one post. Google him if you’re intrested in true crime. Otherwise watch this video to reset your mood back to pleasantness.

Puppies!!!

Time to get my lazy ass back on track!

4 Jan

It’s that time again. Time for New Years goals about life long health alterations to live better, longer and thinner. 

These are most often broken after a few weeks or even days. But I’ve actually don’t this before and stuck with it for a few months and even once for several years. 

So join me, or don’t (whatever), on a very honest very boring journey into my fitness and diet alterations for a better, longer and thinner me.

Start date is 1/4/17.

Start weight. Ugh. Well keep that private for now. Give me a few days to get that down to my pre holiday average. Should be there in 2 days.

I will begin this path with a juice cleanse for 10 days. My version of a juice cleanse also allows for raw fruit and veg. Nothing else though. The raw food is really only allowed to avoid hunger pains and dietary boredom which can lead to breaking the whole thing off.

I plan to work out 2x a day. I hate working out at least until I get into the rhythm.

I’ll post at the end of each day with weight, meals and workout updates.

Since some people hate this type of nonsense I’ll also add a separate fun post daily having nothing to do with food etc. Something like “Who is my favorite serial killer and why?” or “What would happen if I lived a day like a character out of Always Sunny? Let’s find out!” or “RuPaul, please be my second mom and teach me to be an adult woman because you do it better than most naturally born women I know”.
Ok it’s about 3am so I’m out.

Lena.

These Two People Look Creepily Alike: Celebrity Edition 2

7 Dec

DRACO MALFOY from ‘HARRY POTTER’ and VELDA’S DAUGHTER from ‘TROOP BEVERLY HILLS’

This one is pretty intense. Brace yourselves.

I TOLD YOU SO. Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 10.26.04 PM Draco_Malfoy_(Year_2) Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 10.26.21 PM

Draco-Malfoy-draco-malfoy-14389740-464-500 Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 10.26.38 PM

Possible Future Tattoos. Because I’m sure you’re all dying to know. Ha!

28 Nov

POSSIBLE TATTOOS blackdominabig__28794_zoom color,diamond,gem,illustration,jewel,stone,watercolor-d11343d5af45956245231ad49a365232_m diamond_somogyi_640 Slide1 mystique-adam-hughes-comiquette-1 4542336516_da80855f43_z OOAK_Rubykey2 oz2_086TikTok Ozlogo1 Props_Key2 Return-to-Oz-Mombi MSDRETO WD001 tumblr_m0ftiuyQrp1qbtvl9o1_1280 Wicked-Witch-pinup-pin-up-tattoo tumblr_lv74gqWpPV1qcftsfo1_400 tumblr_lwarek2bMW1qa2vwro1_500