Tag Archives: annoying

Attention all cashiers!!:

8 Dec

STOP FUCKING HANDING ME MY CHANGE OVER MY BILLS AND RECEIPT, YOU FUCKING TWATCOCKS*!!!!!!

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Port Washington, Lena herself was a simple cashier at Genovese Pharmacy later known as Eckerd Pharmacy, later still known as Duane Reade. Once there she was taught the basics of being a cashier: ring up their crap, tell them the total, bag it then take their money and give them their change and receipt. She may have hated some parts of that job but she didn’t think that the simple cashier work was fucking brain surgery. So today Lena is going to share with EVERYONE how a proper cashier hands back change with a receipt. Watch and learn. It may save your life someday…or maybe not.

*Twatcocks [twaht-koks]

1. Unisex title for someone who is acting like an asshole, but worse.

–noun Slang: Vulgar.

Origin: Lena made it up.

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Canal Street is made up of…

19 Nov

cheap crapily made handbags, sunglasses and watches. Everybody knows it, respects it and loves it for its providence of all that junk.

But lately it’s been infiltrated. Infiltrated by Long Island and Jersey housewives and daughters. These Juicy Couture Velour tracksuit wearing monsters are ruining it for the rest of us.

First off they don’t barter! WTF?! That’s what it’s all about Paula and Stephanie. Since they’re just paying first price asked the vendors now hate to barter with the rest of us. And because of it they allow us much less leeway than they did before the infiltration.

Secondly, these biotches are obnoxious! They arrive in these HUGE busses. I mean HUGE! And they even have handlers. Usually some shady looking dude with an eye on one his watch and the other on some cougar’s tail.

They attack like no army ever know. It’s a genuine invasion. Everyone else in the shops try to get the hell out of their way, because they know the women are thirsty for blood…and faux Louis Vuitton.

Thirdly, some of them are just plain racist. Not all of them are but I have heard several girls say things like, “This is America, speak English”… and such.

This rant is coming to a close. But next time you’re at Canal Street and you get lost in a sea of take tans and highlights remember this: If you need  help getting rid of one of their bodies, you know how to reach me.