Tag Archives: evil

Albert Fish: The Worst of the Worst

4 Jan

‘Albert’ Hamilton Fish was a serial killer in the 1920’s through the 1930’s.

You can google him for the morbid details if you’re curious. I’ll spare the more delicate readers.

Some of the lighter highlights included shoving pins and needles up his arse and killing and cooking then eating humans. Yes that is the lighter stuff. It’s how and to whom he would do these things that made him the most vile of all people.


He even looked like a old evil man witch. 

There was a rumor that he broke the electric chair used in his electrocution due to all the pins and needles still inbedded in his rear.

Oddly he was thought to be a loving  father to his own children. He did not pay the same respect to other children though.

Ok that’s enough grimness for one post. Google him if you’re intrested in true crime. Otherwise watch this video to reset your mood back to pleasantness.

Puppies!!!

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Hello Again…again.

24 Nov

Time to start this shit up again.

OK. Let’s see what’s been bugging me as of late…

………PROCESSING “GET’S MY GOAT” MEMORY BANKS………

Oh I KNOW..

THIS ASSHOLE!

Genus: iPhone 4S Species: P.O.S.

Genus: iPhone 4S
Species: P.O.S.

I have had this phone for a few years and it served me very well in that time. But somehow by some magic circumstance JUST as the new iPhones are announced it decides to stop giving a fuck and turning off at 35% battery.

To be completely honest I don’t think it’s some kind of conspiracy where Apple has rigged all their phones to start being a pain just as the new model becomes available. I just think my phone is possessed by a demon and wants to drive me to some kind of horrible crime. This seem much more likely to me.

First I thought to exercise the demon. So I yelled at it in Spanish and threw a bible I found at it. Nothing. Then I decided to try and coax the battery stealing demon out by making some awesome chocolate chip cookies and then laying them on the counter next to some peppermint schnapps. The demon ignored the booze and the cookies and stayed in the phone…taunting me. My last attempt to beat the demon was a disastrous failure. I tried to starve it to death. No charge for 12 hours. True it died at 4 hours but I wanted to be sure it wasn’t trying to fake me out. So I gave it an extra 8 hours.

This was a disaster because since I had no phone for 1 full day I missed important texts, calls and emails. Some of which were VERY important. So the demon won. My only option was to comply and just stop fighting it and let the damn thing charge at all times it was not in use. So now like a spoiled 6 year old fat child nursing on his demented mothers teet my phone is now charging 24/7 just so I can use it once every 3 hours.

Ugh. If only I weren’t such a cheap bastard.

American Psycho spotted having dinner alone:

27 Oct

Mike and I had dinner earlier this week and saw this loon eating dinner alone. Just thought I would share our thoughts and observation.

The Cleanse: Day Seven

10 Jan

Today I weighed in at 151.6lbs. YAY!

I did the Salt Water Flush again. This time I took my friend’s advice and used warm water. That made all the difference! I still felt a bit bloated when it was all over. I’m even feeling a bit bloated now. Not terrible just a bit gross.

Otherwise I feel normal. I definitely felt more energized while I was on the all juice part of the cleanse. Where I could drink any types of juices. That I could and plan to do much more often after this is all done.  Mango/ Strawberry/ Peach sounds to die for about now.

I planned to do this cleanse until day 20. PLANNED. Not swore to in writing. There is a possibility I might cut this cleanse a bit short (although I will 100% go longer than 15 days). I really want to get to the yummy veg and fruit juices. Plus I am getting a treadmill next week and I want to run my jiggly ass off already. Can’t do that too much when you have the strength of a 6 month premature kitten can you? We will see.

Either way the cleanse seems to be working well. I feel better and I am pretty sure a good amount of toxins and things are making their way out of me in various ways. Too much info? Sorry.

As of now I would recommend the cleanse. But I advise you that you’re stomach will shrink so much that you might not be hungry enough to have all of the lemonade. That seems to be happening to me. I’ve been drinking it, but I’m not even hungry enough to need it. But I do need the calories to live and junk.

Enjoy your happy meals, fatties!

(Too angry? Give me a break…I would trade you my left arm for a quarter pounder with cheese and a diet coke followed by a cupcake and some sourpatch kids.)

The Cleanse: Day Six

9 Jan

Damn that soup was good.

Anyway…

So I weighed in at 152.6 today. And feel about the same. My tongue is still white. Eeww. But if I brush it the nastiness goes away for a bit.

I did my usual leg, and arm workout. I think that is as much of a workout I can muster right now. Currently I am as weak as a 6 month premature kitten. That plastic bag from American Beauty could put me in the hospital about now.

Observe Plastic Bag get siked for our brawl later:

Check ya later!

Nice Girl

The Cleanse: Day Five

9 Jan

Sorry about not writing yesterday. I was distracted by a birthday dinner.

First off:

I weighed in at 152.6 lbs. Not really a change from the other day. But not an increase!

But I fucked up royally at the dinner and had soup. Oh the pressure!! Social anxiety and such. Oh f it. I was STARVING! I had a small bowl of chicken soup. It was one of the best thing I’d ever eaten. God bless Ta Cocina Restaurant. But DAMN them for their seductive smells and tastes.

So I effed up and I will do all I can not to do it again. Shame on me. Let’s move on.

I was informed by a friend that my mistake with the Salt Water Cleanse was rooted in my mistake in drinking it cold rather than warm. Tomorrow I will try again with warm water, and I’ll try to chug too.

Let’s see how this thing goes.

The Cleanse: Day Four

7 Jan

SALT WATER FLUSH= EVIL UNNECESSARY PUNISHMENT

I made it this morning as directed: 1 liter of water and 1-2 tsps of uniodized sea salt.

Mixed it in my 1 liter jug and took a swig. WTF!!!!!!?? I knew it would taste like crap but it actually tastes like evil. Pure uniodized evil!

It took about 10 minutes for me to finish the liter. The evil sonofabitch liter. Eventually I finished it and I felt like I drank a liter of salt water. Which is about what I did. I laid  in bed in a fetus position fantasizing about strangling the person who created the Salt Water Flush for about a half hour. Then I jolted out of bed when a loud noise came from my gut. I ran to the bathroom and …I’ll spare you the rest of the story.

The moral of the story is that the Flush sucks a dirty trashcan full of infested something or others. I won’t do it for the rest of the cleanse. It’s not worth that kind of suffering. I think I’ll call the United Nations Security Council tomorrow.