Tag Archives: face

Things that gross me out to no end:

2 Nov

In no particular order…

1. Food particles in one’s beard:

Room for seconds?

2. Mounds of dirt under fingernails ((especially when I have to exchange something with that person (although oddly the dirt doesn’t deter me away enough to not accept money from them. Weird, huh?))

Where is the hand sanitizer?

3. People who cut their finger nails waaay too short. They almost look like E.T. fingers. (Shudder)

Oh god. He's touching the kid's face with his gross creepy finger.

4. Other people’s computer keyboards. Especially if they are dirty/sticky or moist. Come on people! Clean those boards!

I think that keyboard has the Ebola Virus.

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Am I the only one who…

26 Sep

occasionally looks to my side at the invisible studio audience/TV audience of my life and give them “that look” when someone or something worth looking at the audience occurs?

This is my "please sympathize with me, invisible/nonexistent audience" face.

This is my "please sympathize with me, invisible/nonexistent audience" face.

I do it about once I week. Depending on the week, I guess.

Hotel Soap: A Warning

11 Sep

is your enemy. It may be useful if you’ve forgotten your own soap. BUT using is will bite you in the ass in the end.

This malicious soap tricks its user by cleaning successfully then once the user learns to trust the soap he or she will make the deadly mistake of using it on their face.

Oh woe is you face washed by the trickster hotel soap.

See, the hotel soap dries the shit out of your skin. There are no oils in hotel soap that replace the oils you wash off with said soap. The thing is you don’t notice this when you use it to wash your body. This is where the soap gains your trust. (bastard)

Anyway…

So you then use the soap to wash your face once you realize it’s a good soap. Once the shower or bath is complete you evacuate the tub and dry off feeling clean and refreshed.

A few moments later you will likley look into a mirror and observe your beautiful face and BAM!!!!

Your face is as dry and cracked as Raddlesnake’s ass.

WTF happened?

The fuck happened was you used the vicious hotel soap on your face, stupid! It raped your face of oils and nutrients and did not supplement them with ones on the soap. Why you ask?

Because hotels are too cheap to pay $0.10 more a bar.

The lesson for the day is to being your own face soap to hotels or your face will never forgive you.