Tag Archives: food

A Little Fat Kid Lives in My Belly

14 Sep

Meet the fat little bastard:

I have the hunger demands of a fat little boy with access to a candy shop inside a McDonald’s. Morning noon and night I crave cheeseburgers, chocolates, ice cream with cake (vanilla cake, of course), frosted animal crackers, cheese fries with ketchup, candy floss, funnel cake, hot dog with cheese sauce and cinnamon sticks with sugar dipping sauce. All at once, mind you. I thought that maybe other people might feel this way. Maybe we all crave our favorite foods 24-7, but we only eat what we can take. But let’s be realistic. When I, on occasion, give in the little fatty freaks out and makes me dive even deeper into the deep fried, candy coated rabbit hole. Once he gets a taste I lose all control and he starts pulling the strings. I call him Hauns. Hauns the fat little German kid who lives in my belly and keeps me from loosing those last few pounds. Oh Hauns. Why do you hate me so?
Hauns drawn by McKone
Advertisements

The Weight Wall is Broken

3 Oct

So I will post about a lot of awesome crap I’ve seen and done since last I wrote but this particular post is about weight and the battle to not be a oinker.

January of this year I decided to buy a scale. Why you ask. Because my subconscious was trying to tell me I had gained a lot in the last couple years and didn’t even realize. Maybe if I weighed myself and saw the undeniable numbers I would stop eating junk food 10x a day. So I did. I am a curvy lady thanks to my grandmas, but not heavy. I thought at the time I weighed around 140 maximum. Well…I weighed myself that night and almost had a heart attack. It read 158.0 lbs. I was mortified. In high school I was between 140-125 (thanks to H.S. trials and tribulations my weight fluctuated often.) Action was taken immediately. I decided to start by recording my weight and what I ate in a journal every AM and before bed. This helped me see what made me gain or lose weight. Mysteriously when I ate well I lost weight. Wow, what a scientific breakthrough! This went on for a couple of months and I eventually reached 145ish. Then I decided to tackle the Master Cleanse. It worked great! It was hard as hell to stick to and I was starving all the time but it paid off. I lost another 10 lbs. This was due to the diet and my stomach having had shrunk due to so little eating while on the diet. After the cleanse I found myself eating less during the day. Though every once in a while I would visit a McDonald’s or Domino’s.

Anyway…

I eventually reached (hit) a very steady (hard) 138 lbs. wall. It was impossible to break it for months. I did not workout which makes losing weight take a million times longer, but I still ate pretty well. (Although I was having the occasional McD’s and all.) Side note: I had stopped journaling me food, but did keep doing the weight notes daily.

Again time passed and I needed to do something else to bash that damn 138 pound wall down. So I made an excel file which lets me write my my diet and weight daily. But this was much better than the book journal because I could see every day all at once. I could train myself to realize that I was eating a lot of food daily and if I ate a salad instead of fried chicken and mashed potatoes all the time I might be able to break the wall slowly.

This is a screen capture of the excel of the first 2 days:

Well so far the damn thing works better than any real diet. Because I am not at 133.0, my lowest yet since right after High School.

See that on the first day I gained 2.5 lbs in ONE DAY from eating non stop? But it was yummy. What?

I am posting this for anyone who is interested in breaking that wall. You can do it. Just keep trying. Trying and failing and then trying again is the only way you can do it. Eventually you will find how to do it for yourself.

Good luck and think healthy.

Saw “Julie and Julia”…

27 Feb

I have to say it was inspiring. Having a blog myself it did push me to write more. Nothing if you do nothing.

F.Y.I. Regarding the weight healthy thing: I have been off the workout/eating right wagon for a week. Next weeks it’s back on the wagon. The treadmill SHOULD arrive today. We’ll see.

Let’s get on with it. Let the writing re-begin…

The Cleanse: Day (Failed)

31 Jan

It was going well enough as you could see with my previous posts. But then a series of events gave me the allowance to give up and stuff my hungry face with McDonalds and any form of sugar I could wrap my calorie deprived fingers around. After about 2 weeks of shoveling crappy food down my gullet I’ve decided to stop being a pig and start some sort of diet again. This NEW diet begins tomorrow. Why tomorrow? Well its because today I had a “one for the road” meal at McDonalds. Don’t give me that look.

The diet will consist of fresh juices, fruits, veg, fish and salads. No beef, no bread or snacks, and NO SUGAR.

Anyway… I’m going to keep a record of my weight/diet/ workouts for the day and all that other crap.

Let it begin…(again):

Day 0 (Day before diet): Weigh 152. Ate hummus and baby carrots. Healthy, I know…then I at a LARGE BIG MAC…and 1/2 a cup of strawberry shake to wash it down…oink!

Walked in the Park for 10 minutes once today and been blogging and figuring out the “To Do” list for the week.

I will keep you updated.

Things that last nearly forever: #1

9 Dec

Mini-Pumpkins

I bought this little guy 2 weeks before Halloween. 2 WEEKS! It’s been here for…about 7.5 weeks. Not only is it not rotten to all hell, but it’s as firm as it was when I got it. WTF?!

Awesome… but how? Was it radiated, or just genetically blessed? Perhaps it took that potion from “Death Becomes Her”?

Let’s be practical. It couldn’t have taken the potion…it’s a plant. I doubt it was radiated because it’s not that important enough to get radiated. (What does that mean you ask? I don’t know. I just said it.) Regarding genetics I don’t know enough to say it was or wasn’t so that leaves one last possible option: The truth.

It must have been INJECTED with the potion. Since it’s a plant it can’t swallow it so someone must have injected it. I’ll keep an eye on it for the next few months, and if it lasts until Halloween I will eat it and try and get some of the potion in my system. Or die of some bacterial food poisoning.

I’ll keep you updated.

Holy Shit…

17 Nov

that poor son of a tuna.

Things that gross me out to no end:

2 Nov

In no particular order…

1. Food particles in one’s beard:

Room for seconds?

2. Mounds of dirt under fingernails ((especially when I have to exchange something with that person (although oddly the dirt doesn’t deter me away enough to not accept money from them. Weird, huh?))

Where is the hand sanitizer?

3. People who cut their finger nails waaay too short. They almost look like E.T. fingers. (Shudder)

Oh god. He's touching the kid's face with his gross creepy finger.

4. Other people’s computer keyboards. Especially if they are dirty/sticky or moist. Come on people! Clean those boards!

I think that keyboard has the Ebola Virus.