Tag Archives: freak

It’s a bird… It’s a plane… It’s Kelly Ripa’s…

31 Jan

BELLY BUTTON!!!

I feel kinda dirty for doing this post. But it was too funny and odd a subject to ignore. Of course, she is in a billion million times better shape than anyone who will probably read this, but we can all still get a little chuckle over her (should be pixilated over for the sake of children) belly button.  She may be famous, fit and rich…but deep down she’s just another sideshow carny.

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Danny Glover seems to be releasing…

4 Dec

his lisp a bit more losely these days.

See BE KIND AND REWIND, 2012 and apparently SHOOTER (haven’t seen SHOOTER, but I hear things.)

There isn’t much to say other than…”Wow he’s got a killer lisp.”

I don’t have anything against him, he seems pretty cool and all. So I’m not going to bitch about him.

Good luck with that freakish spitolicious lisp. FREAK!

xoxo

Nice Girl

Funny moment:

4 Nov

My boyfriend and I were working at a comic book convention and a few teenage girls were looking at some art on display at our table. The girls were chatting to each other about some teacher they hated and a minute or so later they moved on to the next table. No big deal.

Right after they left this troll of a woman walked to our table from the one next to us. She looked at me and said, “God, those girls were obnoxious.” Normally I think everyone is obnoxious and would have agreed, especially younger people. But those girls weren’t particularly rude, or  anything. I just smiled at the troll so she wouldn’t drag me off to eat later under some bridge somewhere. The best part of this silly story is the description of the woman who made the complaint about the girls.

She was indeed a troll for her attitude. But she also fit the physical bill as well. This +50 year old woman was made up of the following:

  1. white fukc me pumps
  2. an acid wash miniskirt
  3. troll legs
  4. a faux leather corset vest
  5. a pirate shirt with puffy sleeves
  6. black 5″ long finger nails
  7. black painted on eyebrows with bleached too long blond hair
  8. Mr. T like necklaces
  9. a tattoo of some ex-boyfriend’s name on her hand (classy)
  10. orange/ almost purple tan from a box

See crapply done photoshop example:

THIS is a lady.

Obnoxious? Them? Oh no, dearie. You, you and the obnoxious ox troll who picks her teeth with the bones of young teenagers under the G.W. Bridge.

If you see her on the street just throw her some food and don’t look her in the eye. She’ll leave you alone if you distract her with a chicken wing or something.

Am I the only one who…

26 Sep

occasionally looks to my side at the invisible studio audience/TV audience of my life and give them “that look” when someone or something worth looking at the audience occurs?

This is my "please sympathize with me, invisible/nonexistent audience" face.

This is my "please sympathize with me, invisible/nonexistent audience" face.

I do it about once I week. Depending on the week, I guess.

Carson Daly has a HUGE…

25 Sep

forehead.

My boyfriend, Mike, put it best when he said Carson was a “hammerhead”.

Carson himself:

Did someone squish your cheeks until your forehead expanded?

Did someone squish your cheeks until your forehead expanded?

Oh and he’s a prick as well.