Tag Archives: jell-o

8 Things I Wish I Never Knew. (Warning: Very Very Gross)

6 Sep

Some of these will not be explained for your own benefit. But if you are curious Google is the Gate Keeper of all thing gross and wonderful alike.

1. Jell-o contains gelatin which is made from the ground bones and hides of horses, cows and pigs. Not only Jell-o but a load of common yummys are made with gelatin. Most non-chocolate candies in fact. Many gel capped pills too. Actually it’s in just about everyother thing we use. See for yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatin

2. Two Girls and a Cup- You don’t have to see it to feel the urge to vomit for eternity. You just have to find out what it is.

3. Bukkake-What a mess. Ugh. There has GOT to be a better use of all that. Seems a waste. Maybe as glue or something. I don’t know.

4. Bee spit mixed with pollen later vomited out is called honey. You know you love it.

5. There are tiny little mites that live in all of our eyebrows and eyelashes. They feed on the oils produced from our hairs. At night they migrate down to our eyes and suck the juice from our night tears. LOL. Night tears. Sounds like a crappy 80’s song.

6. Smell is particulate. This means that every time you smell a fart the particles from that person’s ass just floated their way into your nose. You might as well have just shoved your nose up their ass.

7. Hotel beds are petri dishes. Top sheets (bed covers) are very rarely changed between guests. You can clone a few dozen people from the DNA left on the one you used last time you stayed in a hotel. Maybe best to take it off and put it on the floor for the remainder of your stay.

8. When I was born I came out of my mother’s vagina. Same goes for you, buddy. Unless of course you were too big to fit out of there. Than you were sliced out like Bella Swan’s kid, without the vampires ripping open the womb with their teeth part.

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Soy milk and instant pudding…

24 Sep

don’t mix well.

Or at all.

I wasted a whole packet of instant pudding the other day when I made the mistake of using soy milk instead of regular milk. Being lactose intolerant I thought it would be fancy cool of me to be able to enjoy my lovely instant pudding recipe without the pain in the belly side effects that usually follow. After mixing them and waiting about an hour I was sadly disappointed and very pissed off. The concoction I’d created resembled only pudding mixed with water. Not creamy luscious pudding.

Later, I googled “soy milk and instant pudding” and found out it was a failure of a recipe because there are not enough solids in soy milk.

SOLIDS? Ewww.

The fat in milk is what makes the instant pudding turn into pudding. Of course that little fact is from some dude living in his mom’s basement. (Probably.)

Why can't you two get along?

Why can't you two get along?