Tag Archives: junk

A Little Fat Kid Lives in My Belly

14 Sep

Meet the fat little bastard:

I have the hunger demands of a fat little boy with access to a candy shop inside a McDonald’s. Morning noon and night I crave cheeseburgers, chocolates, ice cream with cake (vanilla cake, of course), frosted animal crackers, cheese fries with ketchup, candy floss, funnel cake, hot dog with cheese sauce and cinnamon sticks with sugar dipping sauce. All at once, mind you. I thought that maybe other people might feel this way. Maybe we all crave our favorite foods 24-7, but we only eat what we can take. But let’s be realistic. When I, on occasion, give in the little fatty freaks out and makes me dive even deeper into the deep fried, candy coated rabbit hole. Once he gets a taste I lose all control and he starts pulling the strings. I call him Hauns. Hauns the fat little German kid who lives in my belly and keeps me from loosing those last few pounds. Oh Hauns. Why do you hate me so?
Hauns drawn by McKone

The Tin Man’s junk…

17 Sep

is on our shower curtain.

I wear a very high Rx for my glasses and whenever I have to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom I don’t usually wear my them.

Knowing that, check out our shower curtain and see what I see every time I get up in the middle of the night.

First, this is what I see with my glasses on:

Glasses on.

Finally, this is what I see in the middle of the night:

Tell me that you don't see his junk in the green circle.

Tell me that you don't see his junk in the green circle.