Tag Archives: models

Time for Another Round of ‘Are They Related?’: Celebrity Edition

14 Jul

Dominique Swain VS. Amanda Bynes

They both have that “nice girl Lolita thoughts” look about them. Same face shape and coloring. Amanda’s nose is bigger and Dominique’s cheekbones stick out more but I say they look very much alike. They both fill a certain niche in Hollywood. Pretty, cute, blonde girl next door who you just might be able to talk into playing doctor. What?! Come on! They both have that slutty glint in their eye. Don’t get me wrong I think their both awesome. Great talents and very successful. But they still have that glimmer that says, “I won’t tell”.

Anyway…

Dominique has been riding the “Lolita” train since 97′ and has continued to pose in photo shoots as the character ever since. I think she’s about 30 and she still wears braids or flashes her undies “accidentally” in most shots. I wanna see Lolita 2: “Barefoot and Pregnant: The Post Nymphet Years”. (Side Note–I had to Google “Nymphet” to verify spelling since I can’t spell to save my life. Gross mistake.)

Now Amanda is a bit less creepy. For one thing she is much younger and seems to have built an empire of herself. She was one of Nickelodeon’s child actor from the mid/late 90’s through the mid/late 00’s. She was on probably about 4 shows on Nick. You know how Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and all those other kids were created in a Disney factory? Well the next models of child stars were created in the Nickelodeon factory. “All That” (a kids’ version of SNL on Nick), remember that? I do. Damn I miss Left Eye… 😦 (Side Note: TLC, remember them? Well they sang the theme song for “All That”. Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes was one of their three singers. She had the best voice, and she sure knew how to burn a cheating boyfriend/husband’s house down. Sadly…it was her house too at the time. She later died in a car accident.)

Anyway…

I think Dominique and Amanda could play sisters. And it’s creepy how much time has passed and how little either of them has aged. Especially Dominique. I think she’s an alien. Possibly a pod person.

Thoughts?

Advertisements

Bullshit talent agencies…

9 Sep

suck John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ass!

A month or so ago I decided I would try my hand at working as an extra for film and TV in NYC. So I made a proper resume (thanks to Mina) did some decent homemade headshots and got a list of talent agencies from the Backstage website.

I also sent my info to a load of places online that seemed pretty legit.  Well apparently “pretty legit” is not legit.

So a few weeks ago I got a voice mail message from a vaguely named acting agency.

The message went something like this:

“Hey Lena!! How are you?! It’s Brad from (Vague Name) Agency. I just wanted to let you know we want you to play a part in the new Twilight film. You know, the fifth one? Anyway we have JUST the part for you! Please call me back and we will sort it out. Hope to hear from you soon!”

First off. The latest film, the one they would have been casting for, would have been the third one.

Secondly: WTF?! People actually fall for that shit?

Thirdly: What ASSHOLES! I can’t believe they can get away with lying to people like that.

So what did I do?

I called back and acted like one of the people who fell for it.

The one to pick up was just some secretary who obviously just wanted to go home. I told her I had gotten a call from Brad about starring in the next Twilight film. She didn’t know or care what I meant and asked me to make an appointment. I agreed. (Playing along with a scam can be fun as long as you know when to back out.)

So I made an appointment for a week from that day. I asked what I should bring and all that. She said I didn’t need to bring a thing.

Next up—> Googled them to see if I even wanted to go to the appt. for shits and giggles.

Google told me that when you go to the appt. you fill out a form and sign a contract and get a few photos taken. Then you pay $25 for the photos they keep of you then you never hear from them again. Because that is all they do. They call you tell you to show get you to sign the contract saying you let them keep the pics and the cash and you leave after photos to never hear from them again.

It’s perfectly legal.

FUCK THEM UP THEIR LYING ASSES!

I never went and saved myself the cab fare.