Tag Archives: money

Possible Future Tattoos. Because I’m sure you’re all dying to know. Ha!

28 Nov

POSSIBLE TATTOOS blackdominabig__28794_zoom color,diamond,gem,illustration,jewel,stone,watercolor-d11343d5af45956245231ad49a365232_m diamond_somogyi_640 Slide1 mystique-adam-hughes-comiquette-1 4542336516_da80855f43_z OOAK_Rubykey2 oz2_086TikTok Ozlogo1 Props_Key2 Return-to-Oz-Mombi MSDRETO WD001 tumblr_m0ftiuyQrp1qbtvl9o1_1280 Wicked-Witch-pinup-pin-up-tattoo tumblr_lv74gqWpPV1qcftsfo1_400 tumblr_lwarek2bMW1qa2vwro1_500

Advertisements

Attention all cashiers!!:

8 Dec

STOP FUCKING HANDING ME MY CHANGE OVER MY BILLS AND RECEIPT, YOU FUCKING TWATCOCKS*!!!!!!

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Port Washington, Lena herself was a simple cashier at Genovese Pharmacy later known as Eckerd Pharmacy, later still known as Duane Reade. Once there she was taught the basics of being a cashier: ring up their crap, tell them the total, bag it then take their money and give them their change and receipt. She may have hated some parts of that job but she didn’t think that the simple cashier work was fucking brain surgery. So today Lena is going to share with EVERYONE how a proper cashier hands back change with a receipt. Watch and learn. It may save your life someday…or maybe not.

*Twatcocks [twaht-koks]

1. Unisex title for someone who is acting like an asshole, but worse.

–noun Slang: Vulgar.

Origin: Lena made it up.

Bank of America gives you $100 for kid tossing. Get started today!!

13 Aug

I ran into this ad on my walk to Whole Foods the other day. What else can it mean?

The thing about child beauty pageants…

16 Jul

is that they are super fucked up!! These parents are 100x worse than child actor parents. At least the child actor parents don’t sell the kids as adults. I mean who really thinks a kid should look like this? (Other than a pedo, obviously.):

***Scroll over the tiara’s carriage for a hateful yet all too true message. :)***

These poor girls get their teeth bleached (or wear false teeth over their own growing in teeth), wear wigs, bleach, highlight, dye and fry their hair, spray tan, pluck/shave/wax their eyebrows, wear false eyelashes, as well a thick ass layer of whore-like makeup (what?), practice their walk and “talent” sometimes 2 hours a day with their obsessive controlling overbearing mothers who force their dreams into their children’s heads, and eventually these girls learn to become unbearable control freak nightmare children who will very very very unlikely reach the goal of being either Ms. America or taking over Angelina Jolie’s spot in Hollywood after the government finds out Angie adopts the kids so she can milk the life force out of them and stay young and beautiful forever.

*** Scroll over money wasted for more “humor”***

Let’s look at the money aspect:

The training/coach costs about $1000

The makeup costs about $100

The dress costs about $400-$5000

Spray tan, manicure, teeth bleach or fake teeth (aka flippers) costs about $500

Entering a pageant costs about $1000

Travel/hotel probably about $300-$2000

Costing on the low side an average of $3300 for the girl’s first pageant.  Then the high side is about…$9600. Note that the average first timer would likely splurge their first time to insure the best for the child and end up spending like there is no tomorrow. Now how many pageants a year do you think the average girl goes to? Based on what I have heard from a teen pageant contestant back in the day, the average child beauty contestant enters about 10 a year. The heavy hitters go to probably 20-30 a year.

That would mean on average the family would spend about $63000. With the super crazies spending $18,9000. HOLY SHIT!!

The worst part of it all it that it’s just a fucking scam so these pageants can get your money no matter what happens. Think about it. What do you win? You win a $50 crown and maybe if your lucky a cash prize or scholarship worth a few hundred. The teen pageants are more lucrative for the contestants though. But we’re talking kids’ competitions here. The confidence and fun aspect is good and all but I would think that if the parents put that money to horse riding classes or jujitsu classes or even dance classes the girl would end up being much more emotionally and mentally balanced. Plus when she grows up she will likely be the type of personality many of us normal folks wanna choke. Nip it in the bud. (Not in the pedo way.)

And why do the kid’s division pageant judges seem to be mostly older heavy ladies? WTF is up with that? Guess they were the H.S. teasees who grew up and decided if they couldn’t be hotties they could tell little potential future hotties they just aren’t good enough. What a sick sick revenge. Genius!

Not to mention many of their names are like: Aniston, Kaylee, Boston, Keanna, Teeghan, and Sesame. I made that last one up but you get the point, right?

Another thing: Who attends these competitions? Are there huge crowds awaiting the final winner like American Idol? No. It’s mostly just the parents and friends. So what does that say? It says no one cares but you because it’s freaking dumb and a waste of time and cruel to the future development of the girls. That and it is a really long ceremony and it’s a bit boring.

Who else attends CHILD BEAUTY pageants? Let’s think…who would be interented in little girls dressed up competeing to be the cutest among a bunch of young adorable dimple faced girls, where they dance, wear bathing suits and blow kisses into the crowd with a big smile? Hmmmm…? Oh I know…PEDOS!

Roger Rabbit will do anything for a buck.

21 May

I was lucky enough to meet Charles Fleischer at the Motor City Comic Con last weekend. Since Marina Sirtis was too up tight to do me a solid, I asked (aka paid) Mr. Roger Rabbit himself to do the deed. Wanna know what I got?

This:

—>Click me to hear Lena’s new Roger Rabbit voicemail.<—

Sadly I forgot to tell him my common name was Lena not Mary, but whatever. Roger fucking Rabbit is my voice mail. Or will be once I figure out how to hack itunes and make it so.

Just wanted to share some awesomeness with my homies.

It’s spreading all over!!

31 Jan

So yeah. Facebook. You probably have an account. I know I do.

Why don’t you stop by and like join the Nice Girl Mean Thoughts group page. Do something productive today and follow this link then press the “Join this Group” button.—–> http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=193265629002&ref=nf

You know you want to. Just go with it.

Your compter will thank you and money will come out of it somehow. (Lie)

Nice Girl