Tag Archives: rotting

Bad parents should have to hand over their reproductive organs.

2 Apr

There are many things that piss me off. Obviously enough things to have compelled me to create this blog.

One of these many things is seen below in a crappily photoshopped image I did (with the help of Mike).

Observe:

A few weeks ago I noticed a baby in a strolled sucking down a can of Coca-Cola. What the fuck?! This was not the first time I’d seen it either, but it was the first time I saw it and had a blog where I could share my disgust for shitty parenting.

How is there not mandatory sterilization? People should have to take a general knowledge test before they get to pop one out. Question 1 could say, “Do you feed the baby regularly? Yes or No.” Question 2, “Do you give the baby baths and clean it? Yes or No.” Question 3, “Is a drink with excessive chemicals and dissolvents ok to give your baby? Yes or No.” If they can’t get past question 3 without a wrong answer than they are sterilized. End of discussion, hand over your reproductive organs.

Grownups and kids of a certain age CAN have soda, they know the risks and their bodies are pretty much starting to rot already anyway. No use fighting nature and all. But babies are in production, still growing and developing all kinds of crap they will have to worry about maintaining later in life. Give them a clean start God damn it.

‘Nuff said.

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Things that last nearly forever: #1

9 Dec

Mini-Pumpkins

I bought this little guy 2 weeks before Halloween. 2 WEEKS! It’s been here for…about 7.5 weeks. Not only is it not rotten to all hell, but it’s as firm as it was when I got it. WTF?!

Awesome… but how? Was it radiated, or just genetically blessed? Perhaps it took that potion from “Death Becomes Her”?

Let’s be practical. It couldn’t have taken the potion…it’s a plant. I doubt it was radiated because it’s not that important enough to get radiated. (What does that mean you ask? I don’t know. I just said it.) Regarding genetics I don’t know enough to say it was or wasn’t so that leaves one last possible option: The truth.

It must have been INJECTED with the potion. Since it’s a plant it can’t swallow it so someone must have injected it. I’ll keep an eye on it for the next few months, and if it lasts until Halloween I will eat it and try and get some of the potion in my system. Or die of some bacterial food poisoning.

I’ll keep you updated.