Tag Archives: sad

The Single Parent Disney Tear Jerker Technique:

5 Dec

Yesterday I realized while watching “The Little Mermaid” (What you got a problem with that?) that Ariel’s mom was deceased. Then two seconds later I realized that many more Disney stories are centered around the child of a single parent. With the missing parent usually dead.

Here are the films I could think of off the top of my head that fit the Single Parent Disney Tear Jerker Technique:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Pinocchio-Gepetto isn’t married, so there.
Dumbo
Bambi
Cinderella
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
The Lion King
Finding Nemo
Ratatouille

If you think of more than let me know. But it does seem a little odd and very manipulative of Disney doesn’t it?

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Where did all the Gak go?

1 Apr

If you were alive in the USA during the 90’s, and not living in a hole in the ground, you probably loved or hated Gak. It depended on if you were a parent or not. Parent’s hated it because it smelled like toxic waste and got stuck in all the fabrics of the house. The kids loved it for the fart noises they could make by squeezing it just right and the weird solid yet liquid feel. It was like a liquid that was soft and moved in slow motion. God I miss its cold clammy embrace.

Well time moved on (as usual) and Gak became the toy everyone set aside. What replaced Gak, what stole its owner’s attention and love?

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis and Game Boy all worked together to shatter America’s youths’ fascination with the magical slime that farted and grossed out mothers and sisters around the world. Let’s not forget Tiger’s Handheld games, for the poorerish kids. ( I may not have had a Super Nes or a Game Boy at the time, but I had about 20 Tiger Handhelds. (Well revive our love for those in a later post.))

Where has all the Gak gone to? Can it ever be found? Is it starving and wandering the city streets looking for some way to support its kids? No. Because it’s not alive. But…

…it can be found. Let me show you where:

EbAY, baby:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Flubber-Gak-Slime-Kit-BLUE-as-seen-on-MARTHA_W0QQitemZ320502759025QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item4a9f73fe71#ht_500wt_956

Oh and you can make it yourself at home without the kit thing:

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/extras/Gak.htm

(It’s the first one listed, the Google ad is in the middle of it.)

So enjoy me fellow Gak lovers, and don’t even think of suing me if you screw it up and the cat eats it and dies. I never promised it was edible or wouldn’t ruin all your furniture.

The Cleanse: Day Seven

10 Jan

Today I weighed in at 151.6lbs. YAY!

I did the Salt Water Flush again. This time I took my friend’s advice and used warm water. That made all the difference! I still felt a bit bloated when it was all over. I’m even feeling a bit bloated now. Not terrible just a bit gross.

Otherwise I feel normal. I definitely felt more energized while I was on the all juice part of the cleanse. Where I could drink any types of juices. That I could and plan to do much more often after this is all done.  Mango/ Strawberry/ Peach sounds to die for about now.

I planned to do this cleanse until day 20. PLANNED. Not swore to in writing. There is a possibility I might cut this cleanse a bit short (although I will 100% go longer than 15 days). I really want to get to the yummy veg and fruit juices. Plus I am getting a treadmill next week and I want to run my jiggly ass off already. Can’t do that too much when you have the strength of a 6 month premature kitten can you? We will see.

Either way the cleanse seems to be working well. I feel better and I am pretty sure a good amount of toxins and things are making their way out of me in various ways. Too much info? Sorry.

As of now I would recommend the cleanse. But I advise you that you’re stomach will shrink so much that you might not be hungry enough to have all of the lemonade. That seems to be happening to me. I’ve been drinking it, but I’m not even hungry enough to need it. But I do need the calories to live and junk.

Enjoy your happy meals, fatties!

(Too angry? Give me a break…I would trade you my left arm for a quarter pounder with cheese and a diet coke followed by a cupcake and some sourpatch kids.)

The Cleanse: Day Six

9 Jan

Damn that soup was good.

Anyway…

So I weighed in at 152.6 today. And feel about the same. My tongue is still white. Eeww. But if I brush it the nastiness goes away for a bit.

I did my usual leg, and arm workout. I think that is as much of a workout I can muster right now. Currently I am as weak as a 6 month premature kitten. That plastic bag from American Beauty could put me in the hospital about now.

Observe Plastic Bag get siked for our brawl later:

Check ya later!

Nice Girl

Why so grumpy, Lori Petty?

5 Sep

We all know and love Lori Petty. But lately she seems to not be as lively as we all remember. (Ever seen her at a convention? Geez. I never knew a celeb could be so very depressed at a con.)

As I type this I’m listening to the album of the film that taught me I can be a kick ass chick and still be spicy and funny. (Tank Girl!!)

If you didn’t teach all of us young ladies of the 90’s that particular lesson we might have turned out like the girls we all love to hate. (e.g. Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian types.)

So behalf of all of us tank girls, I say this: “Get off your ASS and get shit taken care of!!!! You’re fucking LORI PETTY!!!”

Now go and kick down a few studios’ doors and MAKE them give you a role GOD DAMMIT!!

Kisses!

Not a happy camper.   :(