Tag Archives: singer

These Two People Look Creepily Alike: Celebrity Edition

5 Oct

Shirley Manson vs. Katherine Parkinson

The War of the Gingers

Shirley Manson

vs.

Katherine Parkinson

Advertisements

Neanderthal Actors AKA Giant Skulls of Hollywood

3 Sep

Let me single out some more freaks for our amusement. Today we will be focusing on these specimens’ ginormous craniums mixed with their celebrityness. Now we begin the judging and ridicule:

Matt Smith (Current Dr. Who)

Matt Smith is the new Dr. and is still feeling his way around the universe of the show. The audience is still adjusting to Smith and the show gets mixed reviews, but over all is still loved by its fans. I was introduced to the show during the last Dr.’s reign. But still I think Matt Smith is doing a wonderful job. But DAMN he has a huge head. Right?! It’s not only a big fucking head, but his tiny mouse eyes make him look like a caveman. Luckily for Matt his head is equally huge all the way around. (Unlike our next examples.)

Conan O’Brien (America’s #1 TV Host)

The vaguely smart populous to the very smart populous all know and love Conan. He is one funny man indeed. But let’s not focus on his kick ass humor and instead lets recognize his giant eggplant shaped head. Conan has tiny eyes like Matt Smith. But his head is more top-heavy than Matt’s. We all know that curl is supposed to distract most of us from his 8 finger forehead and most of the time it works. Good thinking, Conan. Keep on keeping on.

Dolph Lundgren (80’s Movie Bad Guy)

Nice pout, Dolph! (Sarcasm). He may look like a caveman but actually he is a bit of a super genious. He speaks several languages and has a degree in chemical engineering. Surprised? I was too. Back in the 80’s Dolph was a pretty big star. He was in loads of action films. Now he is trying to pull a Mickey Rourke type comeback in a few new crappy films. Back to the giant skull part of the one way conversation: Dolph has the opposite issue as Conan. Dolph’s jaw and lower skull is about 4 sizes too big for a normal human. He looks like he could bite through a car tire no problem. Dolph’s features all match up pretty will with the rest of his face and this make him even weirder looking. With larger eyes, nose and lips to match his huge fucking head he looks like a giant or a cartoon thug from one of the very very old Superman cartoons.

Russell Brand (Wacky Comedian/Actor)

Russell is known for his personality which is very similar to (exactly like) that of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow. They even go to the same hair dresser. Though he started as a standup comic he is now an actor of Hollywood films. He moved up the Hollywood ranks quickly and is now married to Katy (I have big boobs, see?) Perry. Head issues: Russell has a head similar to Dolph but it’s longer and therefor more noticeably mischievous looking. He looks like a children’s book villain. He is only missing a top had and coattails. His tiny tiny nose, eyes and mouth make his skull area seem even more vast. I have an idea how his nose atrophied but I’m too nice to say. Coke. Lots and loads and trucks full of coke.

Actresses with giant guns (arms)!

6 Dec

Some of these ladies might be dainty and manicured but if you piss them off they could pop your head right off your neck.

 

Angela Bassett especially in “What’s Love Got to do With it?” as Tina Turner

Madonna

Kelly Ripa AKA Regis Philbin’s puppeteer

Tara from True Blood AKA Rutina Wesley

Terminator Mom AKA Linda Hamilton

Time for Another Round of ‘Are They Related?’: Celebrity Edition

14 Jul

Dominique Swain VS. Amanda Bynes

They both have that “nice girl Lolita thoughts” look about them. Same face shape and coloring. Amanda’s nose is bigger and Dominique’s cheekbones stick out more but I say they look very much alike. They both fill a certain niche in Hollywood. Pretty, cute, blonde girl next door who you just might be able to talk into playing doctor. What?! Come on! They both have that slutty glint in their eye. Don’t get me wrong I think their both awesome. Great talents and very successful. But they still have that glimmer that says, “I won’t tell”.

Anyway…

Dominique has been riding the “Lolita” train since 97′ and has continued to pose in photo shoots as the character ever since. I think she’s about 30 and she still wears braids or flashes her undies “accidentally” in most shots. I wanna see Lolita 2: “Barefoot and Pregnant: The Post Nymphet Years”. (Side Note–I had to Google “Nymphet” to verify spelling since I can’t spell to save my life. Gross mistake.)

Now Amanda is a bit less creepy. For one thing she is much younger and seems to have built an empire of herself. She was one of Nickelodeon’s child actor from the mid/late 90’s through the mid/late 00’s. She was on probably about 4 shows on Nick. You know how Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and all those other kids were created in a Disney factory? Well the next models of child stars were created in the Nickelodeon factory. “All That” (a kids’ version of SNL on Nick), remember that? I do. Damn I miss Left Eye… 😦 (Side Note: TLC, remember them? Well they sang the theme song for “All That”. Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes was one of their three singers. She had the best voice, and she sure knew how to burn a cheating boyfriend/husband’s house down. Sadly…it was her house too at the time. She later died in a car accident.)

Anyway…

I think Dominique and Amanda could play sisters. And it’s creepy how much time has passed and how little either of them has aged. Especially Dominique. I think she’s an alien. Possibly a pod person.

Thoughts?