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Comic Book Trading Cards. Oh How I Miss You.

4 Apr

Back in the 90’s Marvel, DC and every other comic book company pumped out some awesome trading cards. Since I was hooked onto Marvel like a fat kid on a lolli we’re going to focus on Marvel’s cards. Now let’s look back for a moment and try to grasp onto our youth for a few moments more.

From plain card stock to faux hologram:

Series 1:

These weren’t  all that bad as a start. They look very standard and sorta dull though. What do these guys do, who the hell are they, are they goodies are baddies? What makes them special other than their crazy outfits? The characters are just standing around looking bored or trying to attack me through the card. The designs are very 90’s as well. Look at the use of those lines and colors. I’m thinking the members on design team on these were really into Trapper Keepers. Not God awful, but they could do better. And they did…

Series II:

These seem a bit more trading card binder friendly. The lines still there though I see. Someone was really into those Trapper Keepers. One major change for the better was that the characters are mostly full figures and shown using their abilities somewhat. I am guessing the artists on these were given a bit more freedom this time around. The artists likely also realized if they did a good job some kid might ask him/her to sign it one day. Ah. What wouldn’t we do for praise and a paycheck.

Series III:

I couldn’t find any examples from this series online. Bite me.

Moving on…

Series IV:

What the what? This makes a magical puzzle of baddassery!! It even features the teams usual villian. What a great idea! If I collect the whole set I can make posters and have trading cards at the same time! But what if they were shiny silverish hologramy cards that some weird plastic film over them to make them super smooth…?

Well they eventually did that. But since It’s late and I’m tired and full of hamburgers you’re going to have to tune in next time to see those hologramish silverish cards…bitches. (Unless by any bizzar circumstance you have some kind of internet search engine and seek them out yourself. Like that’s going to happen. Ha ha…)

To be continued…

 

Want to know why there are so many DC references and so few Marvel ones on “The Big Bang Theory”? Find out here!

14 Sep

Warner Brothers owns the show and Warner Brothers owns DC Comics. Marvel Comics is the major competition of DC Comics. The end.

My Collection of Celebrity Autographs

8 Sep

My Cartoon Cel Collection: Be Awed. Be Very Awed.

5 Sep

 

Where have all the Nazis gone?

24 Aug

Chicago that’s where!

Mike and I were at Wizard World Chicago this past weekend. As per usual we had a great time and he was commissioned for many many sketches. Blank cover sketches, full figure sketches, head sketches and all that jazz. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then these two dudes stopped by the booth. They looked like they walked out of a beating scene from Boys Don’t Cry. Meaning they looked like scary dangerous rednecks. T-shirts with cut off sleeves, tattoos here there and everywhere and none were pretty colors, just black ink faded into dark blue. Anyway they were pretty odd looking amongst the nerd herd at the convention. They commissioned a sketch from Mike and as I took the details I noticed the older guy’s tattoos on his arm. Well lets just say he either likes the SS and the Nazi party or he got drunk and someone pulled a shitty prank on him back at the tattoo parlor one night. Either way he had a huge swastika and two or three “SS” symbols on him. My first thought was to act like a cold asshole to him from then on but try my best not to yell at him about his hateful tattoos. Then my next thought was to take all the money off him we could for the commission and use it for something good.

I sure as hell didn’t want to get jumped after the con so we didn’t ask him about his body “art” instead we chose to shut up and avoid a painful beating.

Long story slightly short: Mike did the commission and we accepted the cash. Later we had thought maybe the guy was a reformed Nazi or maybe he was a Buddhist but the guy fucked up the symbol at the tattoo parlor.

Either way we have the guys money and we plan to spend it on something he would hate to if her were a Nazi, like Mexican food or challah bread french toast. That’s not so bad, right?

Comic Conventions: Pros vs. Fans

1 Apr

Fans pack a few cans of Pepsi for hydration, a Snickers bar for energy, and hand sanitizer for hygiene.

Pros pack drawing pens for sketches, fresh sharpies for autographs and cell phones to pretend they’re busy if they want to be left alone.

Fans’ post-convention evening festivities include unloading all the freebies and purchased treasures from the day and spreading them all over their hotel beds, followed by grabbing some grub at the local diner and discussing who saw who drawing what, and finally, following big name pros to the “industry only” bar and hitting on chicks there who are still in costume from day’s con.

Pros’ post-convention evening festivities include consuming the free happy hour drink at their hotels’ bars followed by dinner at a nice steakhouse with fellow industry buddies, then finding out where all the other industry people have gone to for after dinner drinks and finally hitting on chicks at the bar still in costume from day’s con.

Fans’ key moments at conventions include getting a sketch from the biggest name they can afford, meeting one of the actors from Battlestar Galactica, and taking a picture of a real life slave Leia.

Pros’ key moments at con include being paid well for sketches by adoring fans, meeting one of the actors from Battlestar Galactica and taking a few pictures of slave Leia, Power Girl, Ms. Marvel, Tigra, and that chick with the orange crotch suspenders from Fifth Element.

Fans’ nemeses include broken ATM’s, closed freebie lines and being looked at with unfettered disdain as they plow down toddlers to buy a raffle ticket for the Stan “The Man” Lee signing.

Pros’ nemeses include running into their editors, forgetting popup banners they JUST got made, and running out of hand sanitizer minutes before a repugnantly moist fan comes in for a handshake.

And now an awesome gift from Mike bought at a convention:

Not a sight you wanna see:

6 Dec

Yes that is an exposed wire sitting in a pool of water.

F.Y.I. This was at the Brooklyn King Con this year. Brooklyn is dangerous if you’re not wearing your rubbers. RUBBER BOOTS YOU PERV!!

The vampires in 30 DAYS OF NIGHT…

6 Dec

look a little bit inbred.

Let’s compare and contrast:

See, I told you so.

Funny moment:

4 Nov

My boyfriend and I were working at a comic book convention and a few teenage girls were looking at some art on display at our table. The girls were chatting to each other about some teacher they hated and a minute or so later they moved on to the next table. No big deal.

Right after they left this troll of a woman walked to our table from the one next to us. She looked at me and said, “God, those girls were obnoxious.” Normally I think everyone is obnoxious and would have agreed, especially younger people. But those girls weren’t particularly rude, or  anything. I just smiled at the troll so she wouldn’t drag me off to eat later under some bridge somewhere. The best part of this silly story is the description of the woman who made the complaint about the girls.

She was indeed a troll for her attitude. But she also fit the physical bill as well. This +50 year old woman was made up of the following:

  1. white fukc me pumps
  2. an acid wash miniskirt
  3. troll legs
  4. a faux leather corset vest
  5. a pirate shirt with puffy sleeves
  6. black 5″ long finger nails
  7. black painted on eyebrows with bleached too long blond hair
  8. Mr. T like necklaces
  9. a tattoo of some ex-boyfriend’s name on her hand (classy)
  10. orange/ almost purple tan from a box

See crapply done photoshop example:

THIS is a lady.

Obnoxious? Them? Oh no, dearie. You, you and the obnoxious ox troll who picks her teeth with the bones of young teenagers under the G.W. Bridge.

If you see her on the street just throw her some food and don’t look her in the eye. She’ll leave you alone if you distract her with a chicken wing or something.

Why so grumpy, Lori Petty?

5 Sep

We all know and love Lori Petty. But lately she seems to not be as lively as we all remember. (Ever seen her at a convention? Geez. I never knew a celeb could be so very depressed at a con.)

As I type this I’m listening to the album of the film that taught me I can be a kick ass chick and still be spicy and funny. (Tank Girl!!)

If you didn’t teach all of us young ladies of the 90’s that particular lesson we might have turned out like the girls we all love to hate. (e.g. Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian types.)

So behalf of all of us tank girls, I say this: “Get off your ASS and get shit taken care of!!!! You’re fucking LORI PETTY!!!”

Now go and kick down a few studios’ doors and MAKE them give you a role GOD DAMMIT!!

Kisses!

Not a happy camper.   :(