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Life Lesson: Two way mirror test

9 Jan

If you’re in a dressing/ changing room and you look in the mirror and realize to yourself that someone may be on the other side of that mirror and that is not  ok with you than check this test out:


Department stores sometimes hire people to watch shoppers change in dressing rooms behind two way mirrors to guard against theft.

This test can let you know quickly and easily.

You’re welcome.

Also apologies if I posted about this once before but it’s good to know so it’s good to have a refresher course.

8 Things I Wish I Never Knew. (Warning: Very Very Gross)

6 Sep

Some of these will not be explained for your own benefit. But if you are curious Google is the Gate Keeper of all thing gross and wonderful alike.

1. Jell-o contains gelatin which is made from the ground bones and hides of horses, cows and pigs. Not only Jell-o but a load of common yummys are made with gelatin. Most non-chocolate candies in fact. Many gel capped pills too. Actually it’s in just about everyother thing we use. See for yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatin

2. Two Girls and a Cup- You don’t have to see it to feel the urge to vomit for eternity. You just have to find out what it is.

3. Bukkake-What a mess. Ugh. There has GOT to be a better use of all that. Seems a waste. Maybe as glue or something. I don’t know.

4. Bee spit mixed with pollen later vomited out is called honey. You know you love it.

5. There are tiny little mites that live in all of our eyebrows and eyelashes. They feed on the oils produced from our hairs. At night they migrate down to our eyes and suck the juice from our night tears. LOL. Night tears. Sounds like a crappy 80’s song.

6. Smell is particulate. This means that every time you smell a fart the particles from that person’s ass just floated their way into your nose. You might as well have just shoved your nose up their ass.

7. Hotel beds are petri dishes. Top sheets (bed covers) are very rarely changed between guests. You can clone a few dozen people from the DNA left on the one you used last time you stayed in a hotel. Maybe best to take it off and put it on the floor for the remainder of your stay.

8. When I was born I came out of my mother’s vagina. Same goes for you, buddy. Unless of course you were too big to fit out of there. Than you were sliced out like Bella Swan’s kid, without the vampires ripping open the womb with their teeth part.

Where have all the Nazis gone?

24 Aug

Chicago that’s where!

Mike and I were at Wizard World Chicago this past weekend. As per usual we had a great time and he was commissioned for many many sketches. Blank cover sketches, full figure sketches, head sketches and all that jazz. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then these two dudes stopped by the booth. They looked like they walked out of a beating scene from Boys Don’t Cry. Meaning they looked like scary dangerous rednecks. T-shirts with cut off sleeves, tattoos here there and everywhere and none were pretty colors, just black ink faded into dark blue. Anyway they were pretty odd looking amongst the nerd herd at the convention. They commissioned a sketch from Mike and as I took the details I noticed the older guy’s tattoos on his arm. Well lets just say he either likes the SS and the Nazi party or he got drunk and someone pulled a shitty prank on him back at the tattoo parlor one night. Either way he had a huge swastika and two or three “SS” symbols on him. My first thought was to act like a cold asshole to him from then on but try my best not to yell at him about his hateful tattoos. Then my next thought was to take all the money off him we could for the commission and use it for something good.

I sure as hell didn’t want to get jumped after the con so we didn’t ask him about his body “art” instead we chose to shut up and avoid a painful beating.

Long story slightly short: Mike did the commission and we accepted the cash. Later we had thought maybe the guy was a reformed Nazi or maybe he was a Buddhist but the guy fucked up the symbol at the tattoo parlor.

Either way we have the guys money and we plan to spend it on something he would hate to if her were a Nazi, like Mexican food or challah bread french toast. That’s not so bad, right?

Time to play catch up…

31 Jan

starting with ketchup. HAHA! I’m so funny…

My first rant begins with costumes. This time it’s not costumes that pedos know and love but ones that boring middle class preppy white people love.

Like…(Roll over the dumbass in the ketchup costume with your mouse to get the scoop.)

Then there’s her husband, Bob Smith. (Ditto with the whole scrolling over thing…FYI: This is true for almost every picture in the blog.)

And now let’s meet Fred and Ethel, the Smith’s lovable dogs: (Again with the scrolling over image.)

What was that all about: Well… I don’t like people who wear very boring generic costumes. Plus it’s fun to make up stories about people’s lives.

Is Hellraiser real?

6 Dec

I found this about 3 bloocks from my apartment:

This is the mattress from the film “Hellraiser 2: Hellbound”:

Anyone think I should worry?

Don’t worry, folks. I’m ready.

I’ve seen the films.

I’ll need to find an autistic girl who looks like Brad Pitt and a nice brunette lady who’s dad was skinned by her mother in law.

https://nicegirlmeanthoughts.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/brad-pitt-as-little-girl-i-know-right/

Consider it done.

Angry people…

10 Sep

who look at strangers in disgust are funny. This woman has been staring at this girl with pure hate in her eyes. And rightfully so I think. The young girl has been yapping about wanting to be rich when she grows up on her phone to her boyfriend for the last half hour.

Maybe the woman sees her younger self in the girl, and it makes her sick.

That or she just wants to stuff her purse down the girls throut because of her annoying voice and attitude.

Either way it’s funny to watch.

The girl has no idea she’s getting the look of death either. That’s the best part.