Archive | September, 2009

What ever happened to…

27 Sep

coffee table books?

You know you have those huge picture books that focus on famous architecture, or famous celebrity photos by famous celebrity photographers *coughannieleibovitzcough*, or  photos of dirty poverty-stricken overseas urban street life (these are usually black and whites of deep-set shady doorways where some underage prostitute is smoking a cigarette while sitting on the floor looking down, at the lower right corner of the photo. For the extra uniqueness there might also be her 3-year-old brother standing in the shadow of the doorway staring into the camera. He’s usually naked or wearing only a t-shirt. For that cherry to top it off with,  his t-shirt will have some upbeat American icon like Britney Spears or Mickey Mouse on it.

Look familiar?

Look familiar?

If you have these books or ones like them I vote you unshelve them and put them back where they belong, on the coffee table. They like it there, it’s their home. Don’t worry about how typical they are. They’re supposed to be typical coffee books. Just return them to their rightful place and enjoy them all over again. I bet you’ll even notice things in them that you didn’t before.

Am I the only one who…

26 Sep

occasionally looks to my side at the invisible studio audience/TV audience of my life and give them “that look” when someone or something worth looking at the audience occurs?

This is my "please sympathize with me, invisible/nonexistent audience" face.

This is my "please sympathize with me, invisible/nonexistent audience" face.

I do it about once I week. Depending on the week, I guess.

Where the f*ck do I get a…

25 Sep

smoking jacket? I don’t smoke but I sure as hell need one. They look so comfy and sleek. Will they make me smarter and do I need those fluffy slippers with the things dangling off them, too?

I’d get a red one. I don’t have any red outerwear so a red smoking jacket would be hip. Yeah. It’s decided.

Prime example.

Prime example.

eBay here I come…

Best product combination…EVER:

25 Sep

Vicks and Puffs tissues!!!

God bless the person in the magical science lab who brought these two lovelies together.

<3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3

May the gods bless you, Puffs plus Vicks

Carson Daly has a HUGE…

25 Sep

forehead.

My boyfriend, Mike, put it best when he said Carson was a “hammerhead”.

Carson himself:

Did someone squish your cheeks until your forehead expanded?

Did someone squish your cheeks until your forehead expanded?

Oh and he’s a prick as well.

Babies in backpacks…

25 Sep

WTF?!!

The modern mom with her cargo kid.

The modern mom with her cargo kid.

This is the modern age and all but …come on! I suspect the next stage is a baby hip holster. Where the baby is in a very reinforced leather and steel fanny pack that is placed on the hip rather than the fanny.

Sort of like this:

The future of "baby cargo".

Sid…

24 Sep

is adorable.

I'm ready for my close-up.

Hi, Sid.

I have too much…

24 Sep

time on my hands.

Waaaaaay too much time.

The shoes make him look like a person. Ha.

Locker stickers…

24 Sep

are used a bit much on Buffy. Why?

Were they used as advertising or what? Never have I seen so many, not even in my High School. You??

I know I’m watching waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much Buffy. Please don’t judge me. I know I have a problem.

Soy milk and instant pudding…

24 Sep

don’t mix well.

Or at all.

I wasted a whole packet of instant pudding the other day when I made the mistake of using soy milk instead of regular milk. Being lactose intolerant I thought it would be fancy cool of me to be able to enjoy my lovely instant pudding recipe without the pain in the belly side effects that usually follow. After mixing them and waiting about an hour I was sadly disappointed and very pissed off. The concoction I’d created resembled only pudding mixed with water. Not creamy luscious pudding.

Later, I googled “soy milk and instant pudding” and found out it was a failure of a recipe because there are not enough solids in soy milk.

SOLIDS? Ewww.

The fat in milk is what makes the instant pudding turn into pudding. Of course that little fact is from some dude living in his mom’s basement. (Probably.)

Why can't you two get along?

Why can't you two get along?