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Are these the same person?: Celebrity Edition

6 Jan

Have you seen ‘Bloodline’? It’s great, watch it. It’s a Netflix drama centering around a well off Florida family with a few too many secrets. Great writing and cast.

Speaking of the cast. There is this guy: 

Ben Mendelsohn

He plays one of the brothers that stirs up trouble in ‘Bloodline’.

Now this post is about people I’ve seen in two different places that look a lot alike to me.

So tonight I binged ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’. That is also amazing for the exact opposite reasons of ‘Bloodline’. Their weddings are ridiculous. In a terrible and wonderful way. Check that show out too.

Anyway there was a mom on the show being interviewed because her 15 year old daughter was just wed. Yeah 15. 
So let me know if you agree. I think it’s pretty close. Hair and skin tones are different but I not to far off.


That’s all. Have a good day!

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Neanderthal Actors AKA Giant Skulls of Hollywood

3 Sep

Let me single out some more freaks for our amusement. Today we will be focusing on these specimens’ ginormous craniums mixed with their celebrityness. Now we begin the judging and ridicule:

Matt Smith (Current Dr. Who)

Matt Smith is the new Dr. and is still feeling his way around the universe of the show. The audience is still adjusting to Smith and the show gets mixed reviews, but over all is still loved by its fans. I was introduced to the show during the last Dr.’s reign. But still I think Matt Smith is doing a wonderful job. But DAMN he has a huge head. Right?! It’s not only a big fucking head, but his tiny mouse eyes make him look like a caveman. Luckily for Matt his head is equally huge all the way around. (Unlike our next examples.)

Conan O’Brien (America’s #1 TV Host)

The vaguely smart populous to the very smart populous all know and love Conan. He is one funny man indeed. But let’s not focus on his kick ass humor and instead lets recognize his giant eggplant shaped head. Conan has tiny eyes like Matt Smith. But his head is more top-heavy than Matt’s. We all know that curl is supposed to distract most of us from his 8 finger forehead and most of the time it works. Good thinking, Conan. Keep on keeping on.

Dolph Lundgren (80’s Movie Bad Guy)

Nice pout, Dolph! (Sarcasm). He may look like a caveman but actually he is a bit of a super genious. He speaks several languages and has a degree in chemical engineering. Surprised? I was too. Back in the 80’s Dolph was a pretty big star. He was in loads of action films. Now he is trying to pull a Mickey Rourke type comeback in a few new crappy films. Back to the giant skull part of the one way conversation: Dolph has the opposite issue as Conan. Dolph’s jaw and lower skull is about 4 sizes too big for a normal human. He looks like he could bite through a car tire no problem. Dolph’s features all match up pretty will with the rest of his face and this make him even weirder looking. With larger eyes, nose and lips to match his huge fucking head he looks like a giant or a cartoon thug from one of the very very old Superman cartoons.

Russell Brand (Wacky Comedian/Actor)

Russell is known for his personality which is very similar to (exactly like) that of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow. They even go to the same hair dresser. Though he started as a standup comic he is now an actor of Hollywood films. He moved up the Hollywood ranks quickly and is now married to Katy (I have big boobs, see?) Perry. Head issues: Russell has a head similar to Dolph but it’s longer and therefor more noticeably mischievous looking. He looks like a children’s book villain. He is only missing a top had and coattails. His tiny tiny nose, eyes and mouth make his skull area seem even more vast. I have an idea how his nose atrophied but I’m too nice to say. Coke. Lots and loads and trucks full of coke.

J.K. Rowling is a THIEF!!!

21 May

Have you had the wonderful pleasure of watching the film “Troll”? If not you should check it out.

Here’s a link for it on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/watch/105627/troll

Anyway… The plot is as follows:  A boy’s apartment building is invaded by an ancient troll and he becomes a wizard to fight off the troll and it’s evil minions from taking over the world. Guess what the boy’s name is…Harry Potter!! What a coincidence. Troll came out in 1986, and Harry Potter was written in 1997. Coincidence? Maybe but I doubt it. But maybe.

Watch the film on Hulu and think about it. Let me know your thoughts.

Europeans: The sexes switch hairstyles.

9 Dec

Ever walk down the street in NYC or any big city where European tourist visit? Or ever just been to Europe?

Well did you notice the hair styles of the average hip European? This is not true with every European, just the hipster equivalent.

This is what you might have seen:

Or this:

My point is this:

I have noticed that it is much more common in Europe for hipster type men to have traditional women’s haircuts and hipster type women to have men’s. And considering how tall and lean some of these people are it can be confusing when you see them from behind.

A few weeks ago I noticed a couple walking ahead of me. I could tell they were French because they were speaking French. I remember thinking I liked the woman’s boots. They were brown leather with cool straps. Then when they crossed the street I realized they were his boots, not hers. Well maybe he borrowed them that day. But what I mean is that she was a he, and he was a she.

Don’t get me wrong I have no issue with how people wear their hair. I don’t give a hot damn. It’s just that I’ve noticed that Europeans seem to be the ones who switch traditional hair styles more than anyone else.

The end.

Holy Shit…

17 Nov

that poor son of a tuna.

Disappointing Celebrity Dialects:

21 Sep

Here are three examples of celebrities who have disappointing natural dialects. In their performances they usually either put on other dialects or fix their own in a way that makes their voices somewhat listen-to-able.

Alexis Denisof

Jake Gyllenhaal

James Marsters