I know this is very unlikely but take a look at these images and tell me your thoughts.
THE BRAD PITT WE ALL KNOW:
FEATURED PUB EXTRA IN THE FILM ‘V FOR VENDETTA’:
If it is him than he underwent a uglyifying makeup procedure to make him look like a normal.
What do you think?
In 1989 Charles Band created Full Moon Productions. He wanted a production company that would churn out a horror/sci-fi film once a month(ish). The films would be made on a super low budget but still look much better than their competitors (similar low budget production companies). Through the 90’s Fullmoon was noticeably successful. The Puppet Master and Subspecies franchises kept audiences wanting more. They also put out dozens of other films which varied in success. The later 90’s into the early 2000’s saw Fullmoon lose its audience. Band renamed the company several times since 1989 and it’s now called Fullmoon Features. The company is now actually starting to bring itself back to life. Being a huge fan of the company I am super excited and would kill to work with them. HINT HINT, Mr. Band.
But really folks. You need to check out some of their best works and enjoy the goof and wonder that is the mighty and terrible Fullmoon Features. See below for a list of films from which to start your Fullmoon journey:
1. Castle Freak- Let’s just lay it all out on the table now so you know what you’re getting into. Like pulling a band-aid quickly. Especially if that band-aid happens to be a naked rotting castle freak wreaking havok on the new tenants.
2. Puppet Master 1- William Hickey, puppets that kill, and a sexual psychic. What more can you want? Oh…you’re looking for a puppet that vomits up leaches, too? Let’s see…You’re in luck. We have one right here. She even cuddles the victims that she’s vomiting them on.
3. Subspecies 2- In all honesty I think Gary Oldman might have taken a note or two from Radu. That whole decrepit yet enticing thing was Radu’s idea first. Also notice that the blood in this is actually really really gross. These vampires are very messy and tend to let the blood just leak out of their mouths after they take a victim. Eww.
4. Dollman vs. Demonic Toys- A 13” tall mini-cop from the future, played by Tim motherfucking Thomerson!, must rescue ”Nurse Ginger”, a mini-bimbo from the present (She was shrunk down…its a long story.) from being impregnated by a demon possessed baby doll. No one wants to give birth to the anti-christ. Not even mini-bimbos named Nurse Ginger.
So please check out the site of the Company and even a few of the film. I can promise you one thing: YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ANYTHING FROM FULLMOON. Even if it’s not quite your cup of tea. It’s still some tea you will never forget the taste of.
Warner Brothers owns the show and Warner Brothers owns DC Comics. Marvel Comics is the major competition of DC Comics. The end.
Let me single out some more freaks for our amusement. Today we will be focusing on these specimens’ ginormous craniums mixed with their celebrityness. Now we begin the judging and ridicule:
Matt Smith (Current Dr. Who)
Matt Smith is the new Dr. and is still feeling his way around the universe of the show. The audience is still adjusting to Smith and the show gets mixed reviews, but over all is still loved by its fans. I was introduced to the show during the last Dr.’s reign. But still I think Matt Smith is doing a wonderful job. But DAMN he has a huge head. Right?! It’s not only a big fucking head, but his tiny mouse eyes make him look like a caveman. Luckily for Matt his head is equally huge all the way around. (Unlike our next examples.)
Conan O’Brien (America’s #1 TV Host)
The vaguely smart populous to the very smart populous all know and love Conan. He is one funny man indeed. But let’s not focus on his kick ass humor and instead lets recognize his giant eggplant shaped head. Conan has tiny eyes like Matt Smith. But his head is more top-heavy than Matt’s. We all know that curl is supposed to distract most of us from his 8 finger forehead and most of the time it works. Good thinking, Conan. Keep on keeping on.
Dolph Lundgren (80’s Movie Bad Guy)
Nice pout, Dolph! (Sarcasm). He may look like a caveman but actually he is a bit of a super genious. He speaks several languages and has a degree in chemical engineering. Surprised? I was too. Back in the 80’s Dolph was a pretty big star. He was in loads of action films. Now he is trying to pull a Mickey Rourke type comeback in a few new crappy films. Back to the giant skull part of the one way conversation: Dolph has the opposite issue as Conan. Dolph’s jaw and lower skull is about 4 sizes too big for a normal human. He looks like he could bite through a car tire no problem. Dolph’s features all match up pretty will with the rest of his face and this make him even weirder looking. With larger eyes, nose and lips to match his huge fucking head he looks like a giant or a cartoon thug from one of the very very old Superman cartoons.
Russell Brand (Wacky Comedian/Actor)
Russell is known for his personality which is very similar to (exactly like) that of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow. They even go to the same hair dresser. Though he started as a standup comic he is now an actor of Hollywood films. He moved up the Hollywood ranks quickly and is now married to Katy (I have big boobs, see?) Perry. Head issues: Russell has a head similar to Dolph but it’s longer and therefor more noticeably mischievous looking. He looks like a children’s book villain. He is only missing a top had and coattails. His tiny tiny nose, eyes and mouth make his skull area seem even more vast. I have an idea how his nose atrophied but I’m too nice to say. Coke. Lots and loads and trucks full of coke.
Within the first couple minutes of the film Bastian and his dad are in their kitchen having breakfast. Dad makes OJ/raw egg shake. WTF!? See for yourself:
Skip to 2:20 to check it out.
His dad doesn’t look like a pro weight lifter or gym bunny. So… Is he just on some 80’s diet fad? Or was the writer on crack when he wrote that in?
Thoughts?
Mary Woronov
VIDEO of her videos:
You may not recognize her name, but her face and/or voice have probably left an impression on you somewhere along your movie watching journey.
Up until I did some research about her for this post I only knew half of the awesomeness that is she. I knew and loved the b movie queen Mary. I had no idea about the Andy Warhol Silver Factory Mary.
Let’s begin with the B movie queen Mary.
Mary Woronov was brilliant in a shit load of shitty film such as:
Not to mention the TV shows she was in that we all hate or adore:
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
Super Duper Supremely Condensed Warhol Connection Explanation
Her cool deep voice, lion-like face and 10″ thick cheek bones made an impression on Andy Warhol when she was young. She went on to be one of his break out stars. Sorta. She was on a bunch of his films and participated in the Velvet Underground as a go-go dancer and personality. She later moved on to films and television after the 1960’s groovy days died out. She went on to be a b movie queen. The Mary most of us (those of us who know who she is to begin with) know and love.
Thanks for all your wonderful work, Mary!
Nice Girl
Some of these ladies might be dainty and manicured but if you piss them off they could pop your head right off your neck.
Angela Bassett especially in “What’s Love Got to do With it?” as Tina Turner
Madonna
Kelly Ripa AKA Regis Philbin’s puppeteer
Tara from True Blood AKA Rutina Wesley
Terminator Mom AKA Linda Hamilton
Yesterday I realized while watching “The Little Mermaid” (What you got a problem with that?) that Ariel’s mom was deceased. Then two seconds later I realized that many more Disney stories are centered around the child of a single parent. With the missing parent usually dead.
Here are the films I could think of off the top of my head that fit the Single Parent Disney Tear Jerker Technique:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Pinocchio-Gepetto isn’t married, so there.
Dumbo
Bambi
Cinderella
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
The Lion King
Finding Nemo
Ratatouille
If you think of more than let me know. But it does seem a little odd and very manipulative of Disney doesn’t it?
Nice Girl Mean Thoughts 
What Other People Had To Say