was on the Tyra Show today and I noticed he looked like a freaking reverse oompa loompa or even a leprechaun. (No offence oopmas and leprchs.)
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David Bowie and his johnson…
7 Sepboth star in Labyrinth.
I think someone's something is upstaging them.
I just wanted to remind you all.
Have a nice day.
Clothing store or discotheque?
7 SepTo continue my bitching about A.F. …
The store in NYC looks like an average clothing store on the outside. Except for the male models who hang out and take pics with the hot and flustered 13 year-olds who are about to shop inside for some clothes with their spray-tanned mothers.
Once you walk past the kids posing with models you step into the store and realize there is barely any lighting within. It is like a dance club or even a haunted house. The music is loud as hell too. Not being hip enough to recognize the song or artist I quickly realized today that I’m not getting younger. Damn that was fast.
Once you reach the jeans area, you notice that the jeans are in some kind of glass a and wood display case. Much like sea food is displayed at your local grocery store. Hehehehe…Fishy jeans. Eww.
The stairs within the store are apparently its main source of light. These stairs are lit from underneath with glass steps and metal framing.
Let’s not forget that most of the employees there look like models too.
I think A.F. execs. should decide to serve alcoholic drinks within the stores. They have models, mood lighting and loud hip music and the place is filled with skinny young kids and their wealthy mothers. Why not add a cocktail bar?
“I’ll take a Madison dark wash size 12 and, a Appletini, please.”
Traitor is me.
7 SepI had to pick up a few new pairs of jeans today due to the old ones being worn away at the inner thigh. (See post called “Jeans”.)
Anyway…
I have to point out that EVERY time I have to go out and shop for jeans: I first take a moment to consider other options, like suicide and cutting off my legs. But today I decided I will try and avoid the painful trying on and failing, and crying, and screaming in the stores’ changing rooms. So today I realized that I had to go to a store that I had NEVER shopped at before.
So I went to … (shameful nodding of head) Abercrombie and Fitch. I know. I know!
A.F. and I have been mortal enemies since I first saw yuppy kids wearing A.F. in high school.
To get to the point…
I tried on a pair and guess what? They fit like a self loathing glove.
I have officially sold out my fashion morals for jeans that fit. Shoot me now. No! Wait! I have to put on the new A.F. jeans first. I look so hot in them.
Why all kids dress alike…
6 SepI saw these kids walking along the street in NYC. DONT TELL ME you don’t think they are dressed nearly the same. Not to mention they will apparently continue that trend with their newly purchased wardrobes from the Gap.
P.S. The two on the left are doing that orange shirt thing I love so much.
Miscellaneous warning about ugly jewelry:
3 SepBig ugly charms on string around your neck. It better be either mystical in origin or have been passed down by some ancestor of yours who you have some interesting personality connection with. Otherwise, no excuses, remove immediatly!
Adult males…
2 Sepwho wear light khaki pants with leather belts and polos: If you’re not a real estate broker in flyover states than you’re not allowed. Sorry. That goes for you too, Dad.
Clothing brands that lie about sizes:
2 SepIf you say “10” but only fit a girl who wears “6”, you’re a lying peice of shit! Telling me I’m fat when I’m just…plump. FUCK YOU!
I can always trust YOU, handy measuring tape!
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