These Two People Look Creepily Alike: Celebrity Edition 2

7 Dec

DRACO MALFOY from ‘HARRY POTTER’ and VELDA’S DAUGHTER from ‘TROOP BEVERLY HILLS’

This one is pretty intense. Brace yourselves.

I TOLD YOU SO. Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 10.26.04 PM Draco_Malfoy_(Year_2) Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 10.26.21 PM

Draco-Malfoy-draco-malfoy-14389740-464-500 Screen Shot 2014-12-07 at 10.26.38 PM

Possible Future Tattoos. Because I’m sure you’re all dying to know. Ha!

28 Nov

POSSIBLE TATTOOS blackdominabig__28794_zoom color,diamond,gem,illustration,jewel,stone,watercolor-d11343d5af45956245231ad49a365232_m diamond_somogyi_640 Slide1 mystique-adam-hughes-comiquette-1 4542336516_da80855f43_z OOAK_Rubykey2 oz2_086TikTok Ozlogo1 Props_Key2 Return-to-Oz-Mombi MSDRETO WD001 tumblr_m0ftiuyQrp1qbtvl9o1_1280 Wicked-Witch-pinup-pin-up-tattoo tumblr_lv74gqWpPV1qcftsfo1_400 tumblr_lwarek2bMW1qa2vwro1_500

Hello Again…again.

24 Nov

Time to start this shit up again.

OK. Let’s see what’s been bugging me as of late…

………PROCESSING “GET’S MY GOAT” MEMORY BANKS………

Oh I KNOW..

THIS ASSHOLE!

Genus: iPhone 4S Species: P.O.S.

Genus: iPhone 4S
Species: P.O.S.

I have had this phone for a few years and it served me very well in that time. But somehow by some magic circumstance JUST as the new iPhones are announced it decides to stop giving a fuck and turning off at 35% battery.

To be completely honest I don’t think it’s some kind of conspiracy where Apple has rigged all their phones to start being a pain just as the new model becomes available. I just think my phone is possessed by a demon and wants to drive me to some kind of horrible crime. This seem much more likely to me.

First I thought to exercise the demon. So I yelled at it in Spanish and threw a bible I found at it. Nothing. Then I decided to try and coax the battery stealing demon out by making some awesome chocolate chip cookies and then laying them on the counter next to some peppermint schnapps. The demon ignored the booze and the cookies and stayed in the phone…taunting me. My last attempt to beat the demon was a disastrous failure. I tried to starve it to death. No charge for 12 hours. True it died at 4 hours but I wanted to be sure it wasn’t trying to fake me out. So I gave it an extra 8 hours.

This was a disaster because since I had no phone for 1 full day I missed important texts, calls and emails. Some of which were VERY important. So the demon won. My only option was to comply and just stop fighting it and let the damn thing charge at all times it was not in use. So now like a spoiled 6 year old fat child nursing on his demented mothers teet my phone is now charging 24/7 just so I can use it once every 3 hours.

Ugh. If only I weren’t such a cheap bastard.

Did Brad Pitt moonlight in ‘V for Vendetta’?

9 Nov

I know this is very unlikely but take a look at these images and tell me your thoughts.

THE BRAD PITT WE ALL KNOW:

Image

FEATURED PUB EXTRA IN THE FILM ‘V FOR VENDETTA’:

Image

If it is him than he underwent a uglyifying makeup procedure to make him look like a normal.

What do you think?

The puppet-man of Boardwalk Empire…

20 Apr

Is it me or…

does Michael Stuhlbarg in ‘Boardwalk Empire’ look a hell of a lot like a ventriloquist dummy?

No? You don’t see it. Well how about this: Which of the below is Michael Stuhlbarg?

G F D A B C E

Got you there.

If you said:

F

You were wrong. It’s really:

C

Thanks for playing!!

Comic Book Trading Cards. Oh How I Miss You.

4 Apr

Back in the 90’s Marvel, DC and every other comic book company pumped out some awesome trading cards. Since I was hooked onto Marvel like a fat kid on a lolli we’re going to focus on Marvel’s cards. Now let’s look back for a moment and try to grasp onto our youth for a few moments more.

From plain card stock to faux hologram:

Series 1:

These weren’t  all that bad as a start. They look very standard and sorta dull though. What do these guys do, who the hell are they, are they goodies are baddies? What makes them special other than their crazy outfits? The characters are just standing around looking bored or trying to attack me through the card. The designs are very 90’s as well. Look at the use of those lines and colors. I’m thinking the members on design team on these were really into Trapper Keepers. Not God awful, but they could do better. And they did…

Series II:

These seem a bit more trading card binder friendly. The lines still there though I see. Someone was really into those Trapper Keepers. One major change for the better was that the characters are mostly full figures and shown using their abilities somewhat. I am guessing the artists on these were given a bit more freedom this time around. The artists likely also realized if they did a good job some kid might ask him/her to sign it one day. Ah. What wouldn’t we do for praise and a paycheck.

Series III:

I couldn’t find any examples from this series online. Bite me.

Moving on…

Series IV:

What the what? This makes a magical puzzle of baddassery!! It even features the teams usual villian. What a great idea! If I collect the whole set I can make posters and have trading cards at the same time! But what if they were shiny silverish hologramy cards that some weird plastic film over them to make them super smooth…?

Well they eventually did that. But since It’s late and I’m tired and full of hamburgers you’re going to have to tune in next time to see those hologramish silverish cards…bitches. (Unless by any bizzar circumstance you have some kind of internet search engine and seek them out yourself. Like that’s going to happen. Ha ha…)

To be continued…

 

One of My Heroes: Full Moon Features/Charles Band

31 Mar

In 1989 Charles Band created Full Moon Productions. He wanted a production company that would churn out a horror/sci-fi film once a month(ish). The films would be made on a super low budget but still look much better than their competitors (similar low budget production companies). Through the 90’s Fullmoon was noticeably successful. The Puppet Master and Subspecies franchises kept audiences wanting more. They also put out dozens of other films which varied in success. The later 90’s into the early 2000’s saw Fullmoon lose its audience. Band renamed the company several times since 1989 and it’s now called Fullmoon Features. The company is now actually starting to bring itself back to life. Being a huge fan of the company I am super excited and would kill to work with them. HINT HINT, Mr. Band.

But really folks. You need to check out some of their best works and enjoy the goof and wonder that is the mighty and terrible Fullmoon Features. See below for a list of films from which to start your Fullmoon journey:

 

1. Castle Freak- Let’s just lay it all out on the table now so you know what you’re getting into. Like pulling a band-aid quickly. Especially if that band-aid happens to be a naked rotting castle freak wreaking havok on the new tenants.

2. Puppet Master 1- William Hickey, puppets that kill, and a sexual psychic. What more can you want? Oh…you’re looking for a puppet that vomits up leaches, too? Let’s see…You’re in luck. We have one right here. She even cuddles the victims that she’s vomiting them on.

3. Subspecies 2- In all honesty I think Gary Oldman might have taken a note or two from Radu. That whole decrepit yet enticing thing was Radu’s idea first. Also notice that the blood in this is actually really really gross. These vampires are very messy and tend to let the blood just leak out of their mouths after they take a victim. Eww.

4. Dollman vs. Demonic Toys- A 13” tall mini-cop from the future, played by Tim motherfucking Thomerson!, must rescue ”Nurse Ginger”, a mini-bimbo from the present (She was shrunk down…its a long story.) from being impregnated by a demon possessed baby doll. No one wants to give birth to the anti-christ. Not even mini-bimbos named Nurse Ginger.

 

So please check out the site of the Company and even a few of the film. I can promise you one thing: YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ANYTHING FROM FULLMOON. Even if it’s not quite your cup of tea. It’s still some tea you will never forget the taste of.

 

http://www.fullmoondirect.com/

http://www.fullmoonfeatures.com/