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Europeans: The sexes switch hairstyles.

9 Dec

Ever walk down the street in NYC or any big city where European tourist visit? Or ever just been to Europe?

Well did you notice the hair styles of the average hip European? This is not true with every European, just the hipster equivalent.

This is what you might have seen:

Or this:

My point is this:

I have noticed that it is much more common in Europe for hipster type men to have traditional women’s haircuts and hipster type women to have men’s. And considering how tall and lean some of these people are it can be confusing when you see them from behind.

A few weeks ago I noticed a couple walking ahead of me. I could tell they were French because they were speaking French. I remember thinking I liked the woman’s boots. They were brown leather with cool straps. Then when they crossed the street I realized they were his boots, not hers. Well maybe he borrowed them that day. But what I mean is that she was a he, and he was a she.

Don’t get me wrong I have no issue with how people wear their hair. I don’t give a hot damn. It’s just that I’ve noticed that Europeans seem to be the ones who switch traditional hair styles more than anyone else.

The end.

What the FUKC is going on here?!!

1 Nov

Check out some of this years popular sexy female ADULT costumes:

Cow GirlBee LadyCool boot things.

Aaaaaaahh!!!! Kill it! Kill it!!

Does Silicone float? Something tells me she would know.

Everything seemed normal there. It has become increasingly popular to dress for Halloween as a sexy version of many characters. So these costumes are quite common nowadays. No big whoop.

Now let’s take a look at the costumes that these models’ daughters and nieces will be wearing:

WTF?! This child is a pedo's dream come true. Holy hell, Batman.Maybe I'm just old fashioned....no. No. It's not me. This is just too creepy.Where could Little Red Riding Hood get cheetah print like that?Get thee to a child's nunnery!!At least this one has sleeves.

These costumes are made for girls 8-14 years old.

‘Nuff said.

P.S. Those kid’s totally stole their poses from the grownup ladies in their costumes.

P.P.S. All the kid’s costumes are from that “Bratz” brand. The “watch your little princess turn into a ‘dollar a pop’ young lady” brand of toys and costumes.

Where the f*ck do I get a…

25 Sep

smoking jacket? I don’t smoke but I sure as hell need one. They look so comfy and sleek. Will they make me smarter and do I need those fluffy slippers with the things dangling off them, too?

I’d get a red one. I don’t have any red outerwear so a red smoking jacket would be hip. Yeah. It’s decided.

Prime example.

Prime example.

eBay here I come…

Babies in backpacks…

25 Sep

WTF?!!

The modern mom with her cargo kid.

The modern mom with her cargo kid.

This is the modern age and all but …come on! I suspect the next stage is a baby hip holster. Where the baby is in a very reinforced leather and steel fanny pack that is placed on the hip rather than the fanny.

Sort of like this:

The future of "baby cargo".

I have too much…

24 Sep

time on my hands.

Waaaaaay too much time.

The shoes make him look like a person. Ha.

Men who wear jewelry…

12 Sep

piss me off.

If you’re not a gypsy prince: TAKE IT OFF!

Monroeville is…

12 Sep

the deep South on the upper East coast.

In Monroeville:

Cargo shorts and short sleeve button down shirt= Suit and tie

Chubby hands have teeny tiny fingernails.

Newsie hat= the extent of the hipster look

Tom Savini look-a-likes are around every corner.

Shaved sideburns are the look for Fall 2009.

The fewer teeth you have, the longer your family has been here.

No hard feelings, Monroeville. Had a blast there despite the hillbillyness.

Croc shoes…

11 Sep

are for gardening ONLY!!!

Stop wearing them like they’re normal fucking shoes!

Thank you.

Kevin Bacon’s hair…

11 Sep

has not changed since 1987.

WTF is that about?

Don’t get me wrong. The Bacon is awesome as is his lovely and talented wife Kyra Sedgwick.

Side note: We share a vet. Oh yeah.