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I think our neighbor is possessed.

19 Nov

I hear scratching on the other side of the wall. (Earlier thought to be mice. Now thought to be the desperate scratching of a possessed hipster living across the hall.)

There are also grunt noises like that chick did in “The Exorcism of Emily Rose”. CrEePy…

I hope she doesn’t die or anything…

I have no patience for the smell of a rotting corpse seeping through the walls.

That and if she dies than the demon might try and posses me. THEN I’d be pissed!

Holy Shit…

17 Nov

that poor son of a tuna.

I was just thinking…

11 Nov

that I would certainly crap my pants if I saw an alien walk into my bedroom one night while I was in bed trying to fall asleep. THEN I thought what would be the creepiest looking alien to see, what would make me crap my pants the most?

FYI, this is how it would look when it came into my room:

WTF?!

Things that gross me out to no end:

2 Nov

In no particular order…

1. Food particles in one’s beard:

Room for seconds?

2. Mounds of dirt under fingernails ((especially when I have to exchange something with that person (although oddly the dirt doesn’t deter me away enough to not accept money from them. Weird, huh?))

Where is the hand sanitizer?

3. People who cut their finger nails waaay too short. They almost look like E.T. fingers. (Shudder)

Oh god. He's touching the kid's face with his gross creepy finger.

4. Other people’s computer keyboards. Especially if they are dirty/sticky or moist. Come on people! Clean those boards!

I think that keyboard has the Ebola Virus.

What the FUKC is going on here?!!

1 Nov

Check out some of this years popular sexy female ADULT costumes:

Cow GirlBee LadyCool boot things.

Aaaaaaahh!!!! Kill it! Kill it!!

Does Silicone float? Something tells me she would know.

Everything seemed normal there. It has become increasingly popular to dress for Halloween as a sexy version of many characters. So these costumes are quite common nowadays. No big whoop.

Now let’s take a look at the costumes that these models’ daughters and nieces will be wearing:

WTF?! This child is a pedo's dream come true. Holy hell, Batman.Maybe I'm just old fashioned....no. No. It's not me. This is just too creepy.Where could Little Red Riding Hood get cheetah print like that?Get thee to a child's nunnery!!At least this one has sleeves.

These costumes are made for girls 8-14 years old.

‘Nuff said.

P.S. Those kid’s totally stole their poses from the grownup ladies in their costumes.

P.P.S. All the kid’s costumes are from that “Bratz” brand. The “watch your little princess turn into a ‘dollar a pop’ young lady” brand of toys and costumes.

65 year old women…

11 Sep

who are in GREAT shape yet dress like 11 year old girls make me sad.

These women are so well preserved yet dress themselves to resemble Baby Jane circa 2009. W(hy)TF are they wasting their hotness??

Jesus, I’d kill to be as in shape as some of these broads. And I’d squeeze every drop out of it instead of dressing like a crazy freak who thinks she’s in grade school.

If any hot grandmas read this: you need to talk to your grand daughter and learn what to wear out in public.

With much power comes much responsibility.

Revamp of a crappy classic:

6 Sep

My 3 other dads!