Archive | 11:30 pm

David Bowie and his johnson…

7 Sep

both star in Labyrinth.

I think someone's something is upstaging them.

I think someone's something is upstaging them.

I just wanted to remind you all.

Have a nice day.

Clothing store or discotheque?

7 Sep

To continue my bitching about A.F. …

The store in NYC looks like an average clothing store on the outside. Except for the male models who hang out and take pics with the hot and flustered 13 year-olds who are about to shop inside for some clothes with their spray-tanned mothers.

Once you walk past the kids posing with models you step into the store and realize there is barely any lighting within. It is like a dance club or even a haunted house. The music is loud as hell too. Not being hip enough to recognize the song or artist I quickly realized today that I’m not getting younger. Damn that was fast.

Once you reach the jeans area, you notice that the jeans are in some kind of glass a and wood display case. Much like sea food is displayed at your local grocery store. Hehehehe…Fishy jeans. Eww.

The stairs within the store are apparently its main source of light. These stairs are lit from underneath with glass steps and metal framing.

Let’s not forget that most of the employees there look like models too.

I think A.F. execs. should decide to serve alcoholic drinks within the stores. They have models, mood lighting and loud hip music and the place is filled with skinny young kids and their wealthy mothers. Why not add a cocktail bar?

“I’ll take a Madison dark wash size 12 and, a Appletini, please.”

Traitor is me.

7 Sep

I had to pick up a few new pairs of jeans today due to the old ones being worn away at the inner thigh. (See post called “Jeans”.)


I have to point out that EVERY time I have to go out and shop for jeans: I first take a moment to consider other options, like suicide and cutting off my legs. But today I decided I will try and avoid the painful trying on and failing, and crying, and screaming in the stores’ changing rooms. So today I realized that I had to go to a store that I had NEVER shopped at before.

So I went to … (shameful nodding of head) Abercrombie and Fitch. I know. I know!

A.F. and I have been mortal enemies since I first saw yuppy kids wearing A.F. in high school.

To get to the point…

I tried on a pair and guess what? They fit like a self loathing glove.

I have officially sold out my fashion morals for jeans that fit. Shoot me now. No! Wait! I have to put on the new A.F. jeans first. I look so hot in them.

“Working Man” TV Shows…

7 Sep

like Rescue Me piss me off to no end. Much of that show and shows like it are about (or at least promote) men treating women like shit, and getting respect from other men for it. Because (based on those shows) if you treat a woman like she’s just a piece of ass she will give you ass.

See clip—>

They also teach men that just because they have an outdoor type job they are macho and deserve extra credit. If that is the case than Smokey the Bear must be rolling in pussy.

Rustic macho outdoor type seeks hot ladies to be talked down to.

Rustic macho outdoor type seeks hot ladies to be talked down to.

Not only that but these prick self-righteous assholes have these women all over them who take shit from them and look like a million bucks. Working man’s fantasy come true!

It’s like the shows promote all the shit I hate about the male sex.

But Dennis Leary is funny.

My “How This Programming Came About” Theory:

Did some redneck meet a TV exec. at a bar and say, “Hey you, girlie boy! You’re not a real man. You’re a suit. You got to scratch your balls then smell your hand like this. That’s what a MAN does.” Then the exec. tries it once to test his inner cavemanness, enjoys himself and feels all Fight Clubish. And thinks, “…yeah I’M A MAN! I should be able to chug beer until I puke and don’t clean it up, and pinch waitress’ asses, and call a woman who won’t let me sleep with her a bitch to her face.”

Then the exec. decides he will make millions if he produces a show that shows men that it’s ok to be a prick and they should be proud to scratch and sniff their balls in public. So he tells the other execs. and they connect the success of Fight Club (FYI- I’m a big F.C. fan.) and other machismo entertainment and decide to back it. Then this stream of programming began. Billions of working men, suits who want to be working men, and others praise the new kind of programing telling them it’s ok to be how they want  and want what they want.

Turning back to that original exec. who met the redneck —–>The exec. who once scratched and sniffed is now sitting out on the beach outside his mansion in Palm Beach drinking a Strawberry Daiquiri starring at his newly manicured hands and thinking, “Thank you, stupid redneck. I hope you’re enjoying your Bud Lite and taco in your trailer.”