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Archive | September, 2009
WTF is this?
21 SepI received a Crate & Barrel catalogue in the mail and Mike and I saw this:
What the hell is this used for? Why are there spots on it? How is it any better than any other knife??
Celebrity handlers…
21 Separe weird and scary and PUSHY!
I was watching the live unedited feed from CNN.com of the Emmys the other day and a funny thing unfolded in front of my eyes.
Apparently celebs have handlers with them at these types of events where press can taunt them up close and personal.
I don’t know if the handlers are provided by the Emmys or if it’s a B.Y.O.H. type deal. But either way, this is what went down:
Rob Lowe and his 2 sons were walking the red carpet through the media chain and their next stop was CNN. They were interviewed as soon as they made their way over to the CNN reporter. Then once the reporter finished the interview she was asked by the producers to reinterview Rob again. Because the interview she had just done did not make it onto the live feed. The interview was interrupted by a commercial. Now take into account that I was watching the live feed online (w/o commercials) and the producers were talking about the live feed on TV. So, the reporter asked Rob and his handler to wait 2 minutes for the commercials to end so she could redo the interview and pretend it was her first interview with him. She even told him to respond the same ways he had the first time to her questions. He agreed and talked to her and his kids while waiting to be told to restart the interview. Now… the whole time there is this big mean looking douche bag standing behind Rob and his family. This douche is his handler.
His handler is there to escort him into the building safely and make sure he isn’t mistreated by either fans or press.
I honestly didnt notice him until he told the reported she was lying about how long Rob would have to wait there until he could be reinterviewed then leave. The reported laughed and ignored him and talked to Rob. Then Rob grew impatient after a couple minutes of boring chit chat with her and he called to his handler. The handler harassed the reporter again and told Rob’s sons to never believe a reporter, and he told her to hurry the hell up. “This is Rob Lowe. You can’t hold up Rob Lowe, lady! Who do you think you are?!”
What a dick!
She smiled and asked her producers again about how long it would take and they said it would be a few more minutes and she told Rob. The handler got really pissed again and said they were going to leave. Then she said she was ready to go in 30 seconds. Rob dusted himself off and dabbed off the sweat, then waited for his mark.
Finally she reinterviewed him and acted like she JUST ran into him on the red carpet and asked the same questions and got the same answers. Then Rob, and his sons, and his douche bag handler walked away and she got ready to deal with the next interview she could get.
Jesus Christ on a cross! What a pain in the ass that all must be for each one of them. I hope to one day it will be me sweating my ass off in a $10,000 dress calling for my handler to harass and intimidate some needy reporter.
Asswipe.
Disappointing Celebrity Dialects:
21 SepHere are three examples of celebrities who have disappointing natural dialects. In their performances they usually either put on other dialects or fix their own in a way that makes their voices somewhat listen-to-able.
Alexis Denisof
Jake Gyllenhaal
James Marsters
Gym memberships we never use.
20 SepWe all do it. You can’t lie to me. Well you can, but I’m not there so than I guess you really can’t.
Anyway…
At some point in our lives we get memberships or subscribe to things that we honestly never use. My perfectly intact, good as new, dust-ridden membership card (that is sitting at the bottom of some drawer somewhere in space) is for a gym.
About a year ago I passed by a gym with a great deal and since I had just left my old expensive gym I decided to transfer to a new cheap gym, that I would also never really go to.
I did this and have gone about 20 times…IN A YEAR.
I’m not grotesquely overweight. But a few trips a week would do no harm. Why don’t I go? Well only a naturally fit person would ask that question and to them I say, “Don’t talk to me, you with the good genes.”
Us normal people want to keep our rarely used memberships and tell ourselves that we’ll go tomorrow. Because tomorrow is a new day, the day to start going to the gym.
You know what? After all this thinking and writing, I think I’m going to start going again. Get back on the treadmill and get into shape.
Then again…I do have errands and I wanted to watch that movie. NONONONO! I’ll go. I will. I swear. Well…maybe. If I wake up on time. (Note to self: Don’t set alarm.)
The Vampire Diaries–> (Show vs. Books)
20 SepIn 1991 L. J. Smith wrote The Vampire Diaries: The Awakening. Almost 20 years later her creation hit the small screen. (She can thank Twilight and True Blood for that one.)
As an original fan of the V.D books I was eagerly awaiting the TV adaptation. Then on September 10th 2009 I was gravely disappointed. My hopes were torn into teeny tiny bits.
First off, Elena is blond. The producers probably changed her hair to brown so as to not confuse Elena with Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood. If they were scared of overlapping True Blood than they should have realized both shows revolve around a human woman, and a couple of vampires fighting for her affection and life. (Wait a minute… that sounds a hell of a lot like True Blood.) To avoid all that they could have just done the show a few years ago…when the books weren’t so outdated.
Also not only is she blond, but she is beautiful in a kind of too pretty to be naturally pretty way. But in the show she’s some short normal looking actress. Sure the actress is pretty. But, SHE’S AN ACTRESS ON A MAJOR NETWORK. SHE HAS TO BE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PRETTY. Elena is supposed to be Helen of Troy pretty. WTF?
ANYWAY…
The other thing that pisses me off is how cheezy it was. There were freaking billows of fog pouring from off camera while she was at the cemetery. She wasn’t even weirded out by the ferocious mystery fog. I would have been like…”WTF, fog? What’s going on? Why are you billowing over towards me?” Instead she looks around puzzled then runs for no real reason.
I had to stop watching shortly after. It was at that point that I realized the show was put together by idiots. L.J. should be pissed. I know I’d be if I were her. Although the huge checks the network gave me would certainly dull the pain quite a bit.
So take a look and tell me about how close the characters seem, from the book to the show:
- Book Elena.
- Show Elena.
There needs to be is an age limit…
20 Sepfor strollers.
I’ve done a tiny bit of research (googled stroller age limits for less than 30 seconds) and decided that no child should be older than 5.
Many moms online say their kids were in their strollers up until they were 7.
7?!! SEVEN YEARS OLD?! And in a STROLLER?
Look at this lazy kid. He can’t even keep food in his mouth much less get around with out Mommy or Daddy pushing his preteen butt around.
Get your lazy butt out of that stroller and walk, you chubby little snot.
F.Y.I. I am terrible at guessing children’s ages. The photo could be of a 3-year-old for all I know.
Canvassers who…
19 Sepleave garbage on my street from their day of standing there and pestering pedestrians to vote for their candidate burst my bubble (in a mean angry way).
W(ho)TF do you think you are, messy canvasser?
I wonder what would happen if I call the candidate’s office and complain? Explaining that my future vote will never go to them due to their canvasser’s lack of concern for my neighborhood. I might even tell the office I was going to call a news channel regarding my concern for the candidate’s true affection for my neighborhood. THEN would they care?
Sadly, I am too much of a lazy ass to really do any of that. I would rather bitch online.
Enjoy the photo I took of a fellow concerned citizen:
I know! I think they need to clean it up too.
Taxes can suck my…
19 Sep…well they just suck.
If you make say…$12,000 in a single check they take out about $6,000!!! YES $6,000. NOT $600 BUT $6,000.
Let me make sure this is perfectly clear.
If you make twelve THOUSAND dollars in one check. The taxes taken out can equal six THOUSAND dollars.
That’s HALF THE FUCKING CHECK!!!
It was fun while it lasted.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
end.
Gnat orgies…
19 Sepgross me out. Because I always walk straight into them.
What the hell?!
Get a hotel you sickos! And why do you ALWAYS swarm right in the middle of a walkway?
Public display of affection=OK. Public sex orgies=Not OK.
Worst part of it all: Half the time 10 fly into my mouth. Not what I consider a yummy snack, thank you.
Ewewewewewewewewe!
You sick, sick perverted bugs.
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