Archive | September, 2009

Men with….

2 Sep

lady fingers and hands. Ewww.

Sorry, guys.

Clothing brands that lie about sizes:

2 Sep

If you say “10” but only fit a girl who wears “6”, you’re a lying peice of shit! Telling me I’m fat when I’m just…plump. FUCK YOU!

I can always trust you, handy measuring tape!

I can always trust YOU, handy measuring tape!

Cuticles…

2 Sep

Why do we have them if our hands look nicer without them? Poor cutilces can’t catch a break.

A tear for you.   : _ (

Bye bye cuticles.

Bye bye cuticles.

Background Actors…

2 Sep

who went through the trouble of getting a facelift. I don’t get it. We’re most likely not going to see your face anyway. It’s not like a casting director will see the film/show and say, “Hey! Who is that woman with their face parted like the Red Sea! I need HER for my next billion dollar picture!” Not too likely.

Safe as houses.

2 Sep

Apparently that term does not work for hotels. I was staying in a hotel during a trip to San Diego during the 2008 San Diego Comic Con. I was poorish and this hotel was way cheap so I booked it online. Little did I know there was a gang of truckers and scary bike dudes having a “one year ago we killed a young woman here and we need to do it again” meeting next door. So I took precautions and took every item not bolted to the floor shoved it in front of the door every night and slept with a butter knife under my pillow. I was ready to take them all down. Luckily they sensed my strength and left me be.

(See evidence below)

It was a lovely stay at the local Break n' Entering Inn.
It was a lovely stay at the local Break n’ Entering Inn.

Hmmm....sure this should help, right?
Hmmm….sure this should help, right?

After 1 night of having to stay awake in bed (fully dressed with a knife in my hand), I decided that some more protection was necessary.

After 1 night of having to stay awake in bed (fully dressed with a knife in my hand), I decided that some more protection was necessary.

Brad Pitt as little girl. I know, right?

2 Sep

Mr. Pitt as girl

She

Mr. Pitt as boy

After

When jeans turn on their owner:

2 Sep

Jeans that wear away at the crotch (inner thigh) first. Fuck you, jeans! Fuck you!Fuck you!

What not to wear outside your room:

1 Sep

Plain orange t-shirts. Why? Because they look shitty, look at this guy:

douche!

1 Foot=6 Toes??

1 Sep

People with 6 or more toes on one foot who wear open toed shoes…why? To advertise?

Show off.

Brand New Baseball Caps

1 Sep

One thing I’ve seen and don’t understand is when men buy baseball caps and leave the advertisment stickers on. I know they’re shiny and all, but still…

How many stickers is too much?:  One.

How many stickers are too many? Answer: One.